Icebreaker
by Tezslar
Summary: When Gilbert takes a temporarily amnesic Ivan under his care, one thing leads to another and they spend a passion-filled night together. Sadly, by morning, fear and regret sinks in and plagues them both. (Modern day AU.)
1. Part 1

**[Originally posted: 3/21/2014]**

A little mini story containing fluff, smut, sex, and angst. I had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope you enjoy it as well.

.

**Genre(s):** Romance, hurt/comfort, angst.  
**Setting:** Modern day, Germany.  
**Story warning(s):** Detailed explicit sexual content, heartache, language.

**Some info before you read:**  
•Individual chapter warnings will be listed at the beginning of each chapter.  
•Any text between _'Single quotes and in italics like this'_ are a character's thoughts.  
.

****I do not own Hetalia, nor am I making any money off of this or any of my other writings.**

****Chapter Warning(s): Temporary amnesia, angst, language, yaoi, fluff.**

* * *

The winter had been horrible this year. Snow was thick and deep, so when Ivan found himself lost in a thick blizzard, he couldn't remember why he went out during the night to begin with. However, it was far too late for regrets. He tugged on the ends of his long scarf and continued through the snow, trying to find a road or building through the heavy snowfall. He had lost his way and somehow ended up off the road. He had no idea where he was or where he was going, and was in what looked like a giant field. He figured that he must be somewhere outside the city he arrived in earlier.

He had left his hometown of Moscow, Russia to visit his sisters for a few days in Germany where they moved sometime last year. He had been thinking of moving in with them or near them, just to be closer to family.

He didn't expect the winter to be this bad still, he thought it was almost over, but the winds started to pick up and the snow created an opaque fog all around him. He got turned around in the blizzard, not knowing which direction was which or if he was even close to the town. It became too difficult to walk through the deep snow. Ivan lost his balance, and toppled over, his head slamming down on ice covered in snow. The impact knocked him out instantly; cutting his forehead a little and making him bleed.

.

Hours later, after the storm had passed and the air was calm and chilly, Ivan finally came too. His body suddenly began to shake violently and he noticed that he was no longer outside, and he tried to sit up.

"Whoa whoa! Calm down!" An urgent voice came from next to him, and a pair of hands pushed on his shoulder, forcing him to lie back down. "Don't try to get up."

Ivan looked at the man who spoke, blinking in confusion. The person standing to his side was as pale as the snow outside.

"Are you all right?" the man asked. Ivan nodded slowly, still feeling extremely confused and unable to get his thoughts straight. He was also still taken aback by the unusual man in front of him.

"What's your name?" the pale man asked.

Ivan opened his mouth to speak, but something was wrong. The man tilted his head curiously, wondering why he wasn't giving an answer.

"I... don't remember it." Ivan finally spoke. He felt a wave of fear wash over him at the realization. "I can't remember why I was outside either..."

"You seem to have hit your head out there." The stranger spoke, touching a bandage that he put on Ivan's forehead. "You can stay here with me until you regain your memories, or are at least healthy enough to go out on your own."

Ivan gave a slow nod.

"Would you like some hot tea? You look like you need to warm up still."

Ivan nodded again.

The man smiled at him, and then turned to leave. He disappeared through a doorframe for a while.

As the other was gone, Ivan tried so hard to remember his name. He couldn't remember anything. Why he was outside, who he was, his age, where he came from. It was all just... gone. It scared him more than anything had ever scared him before.

After a few minutes, the pale man came back with a little cup of steaming tea.

"Here." He held the cup out.

Ivan sat up. The blood rushed to his head regardless of how slow he went. He took the cup from the other's hands. "Thank you." He blew on it a little and then took a small sip of the dark liquid. It burned his upper lip so he couldn't really drink it yet.

"You're welcome." The man replied, smiling softly.

Ivan glanced up to the other, "Not that I don't appreciate your kindness, but... you seem awfully friendly to a stranger..."

The statement made the other tilt his head, "You needed help, so I helped. Doesn't matter if you're a stranger."

Ivan's eyes widened at the man's answer. He never expected someone to be so nice like this.

"My name is Gilbert, by the way." He smiled, "I'm going to get you some more blankets, just wait here, okay?"

Ivan mumbled out a quiet "Okay." as Gilbert walked away from him. Gilbert left into another room down the hall for a while, leaving Ivan to think more. He tried to list all the countries, trying to remember where he came from. Sadly, he didn't even know what country he was in now. He was just glad that Gilbert found him and was taking care of him. There was something strange about him though, about being around him. Ivan felt very comfortable in his presence. Not nervous or uncertain of his intentions like he would be with most strangers. It felt like he had known Gilbert for years, and they just hadn't seen each other for a while.

Gilbert soon came back into his view with an armful of blankets. Ivan swallowed the last drops of his tea and set the little cup on the end table next to the couch.

"Was the tea good? Was it too sweet?" Gilbert asked.

Ivan shook his head, "No, it was perfect." He smiled.

Gilbert returned the smile, relieved. "Lay down." he instructed, "You didn't get much sleep at all and you still look pretty tired." He threw one of the blankets over Ivan's legs and waited.

Ivan stared at the pale man for a few seconds before moving his body to lie along the length of the couch. Gilbert brought the blanket up more and Ivan was able to see the man up close. His eyebrows and eyelashes were pale and white like his hair, and his eyes were pink with what seemed like an explosion of blue in them. He looked like a marble statue - Cold and frozen with eyes that shine brightly like they're the only warmth his body had.

Gilbert moved the blanket further up Ivan's body, tucking it in around his shoulders and neck. For a brief moment, the pale man's finger brushed against his skin and it send a shock of warmth through him.

He wasn't cold at all. He felt so warm.

_'I want that warmth...'_ Ivan thought as he watched the other layer on another blanket. _'I want him to hold me...'_ he felt his throat tighten a little, his bottom lip trembling slightly.

As Gilbert brought the third blanket up to Ivan's chest, he noticed the man staring at him with a strange look. "Is something wrong?"

Ivan felt his cheeks warm up a little with a tiny blush. "No, you... you just remind me of someone, but I can't place who." It was a lie.

"Oh..." Gilbert looked down. He wondered who he could have reminded the other of. He stood to his full height, "Alright, well I need to go to bed. I'll be right down the hall in the room to the right, so if you need anything, just come wake me up, okay?"

Ivan grabbed onto Gilbert's sleeve, which made the albino gasp aloud. The Russian tugged on him, making him lose his balance and fall over on top of him. Ivan pulled him into a tight hug. Gilbert's face turned red, and he began to mumble an incoherent string of 'what's and 'why's. He pushed against Ivan's chest to try to escape, but found the man to be stronger than he thought.

"I'm still cold, I want more warmth." Ivan stated.

"Well then I can get more-!" Gilbert stopped when he felt the larger male's arms and body shaking under and around him. "If you're this cold I can get more blankets..."

Ivan shook his head and then looked at Gilbert; his eyes were wet with tears. "I'm scared." His voice shook and Gilbert's eyes widened in surprise and guilt. "I can't remember anything. It's scary. I don't want to be alone." He sniffled a little.

Gilbert felt that guilt rising, he couldn't turn down someone who was crying and terrified like this. The man was shaking in fear and crying. Gilbert couldn't let his discomfort get the best of him. The albino breathed out and rested his head against the other's chest. He could hear his heartbeat. It was slow and loud, pounding against his ribcage. He was absolutely terrified. Gilbert couldn't relate, as he's never had amnesia or anything even close to it, but he could imagine how scary it could be. So for now, he just let himself lay on the man for a few minutes, and during those few minutes, Ivan's heartbeat returned to normal and his body wasn't shaking as much. Gilbert looked up at the man, who had his eyes closed, but little tears were still lingering at the corners.

"I'll get more blankets and I'll sleep on the floor, okay?" Gilbert began to shift his body to get up, but Ivan's arms tightened again and held him in place. Gilbert bit his lip, _'He wants me to sleep with him...?'_ "I'm... not really comfortable with this..."

Ivan realized what he was asking of this stranger, and he didn't want to test how much kindness Gilbert was willing to give before he refused. He slowly let his arms loosen from the albino, freeing him. Gilbert sat up a little and looked at the other's face. He was still so upset, his face twisted with fear. Gilbert noticed that he was still crying a little as well. He looked so scared and lost, and once again, Gilbert's conscience wouldn't let him make the man even more upset.

Gilbert sighed softly, "Alright... move over a little." He instructed quietly, feeling a little nervous. Ivan's eyes widened but he immediately obeyed and moved as close to the back of the couch as he could. Gilbert moved so that he was under the blanket. His face turned a shade darker at the closeness. He had never been so close to another person before and there was just something very... intimate about this moment. Gilbert gasped when Ivan suddenly cuddled into him, which made the albino even more flustered. He wasn't sure what to do in this situation; all he could do was stay still.

Ivan loved the feeling of the other's body. He was soft and warm, and smelled nice too. There was something wrong though, Gilbert's body felt very tense in his arms. He started to feel bad once he realized that he was making Gilbert extremely uncomfortable with his cuddling.

The Russian's arms moved off of Gilbert a little. "I'm sorry I'm making you uncomfortable or nervous..." he apologized.

"No... it's all right." There was a heavy amount of apprehension in Gilbert's voice. He clearly wasn't okay with this, but he knew that the other male was upset and scared, so he couldn't let himself be bothered. The man wasn't hurting him, he was just seeking comfort, so Gilbert just had to get used to the closeness.

Ivan nodded and buried his face into Gilbert's chest. Gilbert could still feel him shaking a little and it made him sad. He wasn't doing a good enough job of comforting him.

_'Maybe if I...'_ Gilbert thought and then slowly brought one of his arms around the Russian's shoulders. The action made Ivan snuggle even closer to Gilbert and his body slowly stopped shaking. _'It worked... good.'_ He smiled a little.

Gilbert narrowed his eyes sadly on the mass of ash-blond hair under his chin. _'It's strange... this guy is acting like a lost puppy. I've never seen someone act like this... He looks to be about my age too, and he clearly travels a lot...'_ he thought. Ivan's clothes were torn and faded, and his hands were calloused. Ivan made a soft groaning sound in his throat and shifted a little. _'Poor guy... I can't imagine what it feels like to not remember your own name; or anything for that matter.'_ Gilbert tightened his arms a little. _'I'll take care of you, don't worry.'_ He nuzzled down a little, closing his eyes.

.

A few hours later at about mid-morning, Gilbert's eyes blinked open. He became alarmed when he felt arms around his waist, but then the memories of earlier came rushing back to him.

He gently brushed some of the wavy hair from the other's face. He looked so peaceful now. He wasn't crying or shaking, and his expression was more relaxed and calm. He looked different from before. At first, Gilbert thought he resembled a small child with the way he clung to him so desperately. Now though...

_'He's actually kind of attractive...'_ Gilbert brushed some more hair aside. His cheeks warmed slightly at his thoughts, but he couldn't help it. There was something rugged and tough, yet soft and sweet about this man. He wished he knew his name. Before Gilbert could continue to embarrass himself with his thoughts, he decided it would be good to get up and make breakfast. If he was awake, then the man would probably wake up soon as well, and he'd most likely be hungry.

He carefully slid Ivan's arms off of his body and moved to get off of the couch. Ivan moved toward where Gilbert was laying, like he was searching for the missing warmth. Luckily his movement didn't wake him. Gilbert sighed softly and readjusted the blankets over the other male. He picked up the empty tea cup from the end table, went to the kitchen, which was connected to the living room by a door-less frame, and started gathering a pan and some utensils, as well as some mix for making pancakes.

He prepared what he needed too, and after about 10 minutes he heard someone say his name. He quickly snapped his head around and saw Ivan standing in the doorway, but he had his scarf around his neck now.

Gilbert opened his mouth to speak a name, but he realized that he didn't know the other's name, so he couldn't. "Are you alright? Have you remembered anything?" He asked, hoping that the answer was 'yes'.

The larger male gave a single nod. "At least, I think so... my name, I think it's Ivan..." he seemed uncertain.

"Does it sound familiar when someone calls you by it?"

Ivan shrugged, "No one has called me it yet." He looked down.

Gilbert smiled a little. "Ivan." He spoke the name softly and the man looked back to him, his eyes wide. "Does that work?"

A smile appeared on Ivan's lips, "Yes, yes it does. That's my name! It's Ivan!" he beamed happily. Relieved that he remembered it.

"Do you remember your last name at all?"

Ivan hummed in thought. "Bra... Bragin- something." He huffed. "I... I'm not sure..."

"Don't worry about it then, I was just curious. At least I have a name to call you by now." Gilbert turned back to his pancake, and slid a spatula under the edge to see if it was ready to flip. "I hope you like pancakes. If not, I can make you something else."

Ivan smiled, "I'd love some."

"Sit at the table; I'll bring them to you when they're done."

As told, Ivan went to the small round table and sat in a matching wooden chair. He watched Gilbert silently as he cooked. His eyes trailed the pale man up and down repeatedly. Ivan liked how he was dressed; a white dress shirt that buttoned up the front, the sleeves of which Gilbert had rolled up, and black jeans. As Ivan's ears were filled with the sounds of the food being prepared, he let his eyes trace Gilbert's backside. His purple eyes followed down his spine, eventually landing on Gilbert's rear that was kept in pants just tight enough to make Ivan blush. He quickly looked away, bumping his fingers together on top of the table in embarrassment. He shouldn't be thinking dirty things about this man; he _just_ met him, and he saved him from freezing to death in the snow as well. He wasn't in any position to think anything. Still... he couldn't help his eyes from slowly shifting back to him, watching his arms move fluidly as he cooked. Every little movement, from the small shift in his weight from left to right, how he moved his right foot a little closer to the stove. Ivan caught onto all of it. Gilbert certainly was a fascinating person; everything he did entranced Ivan. Ivan forced himself to look back at the table and tried to remember anything else. He began to mumble incoherently, which made Gilbert look over at him for a moment.

"Twenty... twenty three." Ivan finally spoke, "That's how old I am." He smiled like he was proud to remember it.

Gilbert smiled as well, "Ah, I'm older." He chuckled, "I'm twenty four."

The Russian's smile widened, he was happy that Gilbert was sharing about himself too. "I like... I like sunflowers!" He exclaimed, suddenly remembering that as well.

Gilbert looked at him in confusion for a moment before his lips pulled into a soft smile. "I like them too."

Ivan paused for a moment and blushed a little. "I... I like Gilbert."

The albino nearly dropped his spatula and he turned to look at Ivan with a light streak of pink on his cheeks, "Who Gilbert? _Me_ Gilbert?" He asked, sounding and looking flustered.

Ivan sat there perfectly still besides answering with a single slow nod. His eyebrows were tugged together tightly and he's eyes screamed of guilt and shame. The way he sat in his chair gave him away as well, he was sitting with his limbs as close to him as possible, scrunched up to him. He also had the lower part of his face buried into his scarf, like he was hiding.

Gilbert took in a breath. He realized that Ivan was more flustered than he himself was, and that calmed him a little. Ivan wasn't a threat to him, but Gilbert would be lying if he said that Ivan's comment didn't make him a little uncomfortable. What made it worse was when he realized that he also liked Ivan, even if it was only a physical attraction. He started to stumble, his head felt a little light and he wasn't sure why.

Trying to pour pancake mix wasn't a good idea. Gilbert gasped and jumped back quickly when he spilled the mix onto the floor due to shaky hands.

Ivan stood up quickly and went to him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I just... I tend to be very blunt, I'm sorry."

Gilbert's blush darkened and he grabbed a towel from the countertop and turn back to clean up the mess. Ivan's hand suddenly grabbed the towel.

"It's my fault, I'll clean it up." Ivan leaned down and began to do as he said.

Gilbert felt like he needed to protest, but he also felt like Ivan wouldn't listen even if he did. He watched the Russian for a moment, still feeling flustered, and then finally turned back to his stove and continued to cook.

After a minute or so, Ivan came back up. "Where should I put the towel?"

"In the sink." Gilbert instructed simply, not taking his eyes off of the pancake he was working on.

A pang of sadness hit Ivan. He went to the sink and placed the dirtied towel in it, and then turned back to Gilbert. "Do you hate me now? Because of what I said?" he asked.

Gilbert froze up for a moment, and then slid the pancake onto a large plate with the others. He turned to Ivan and looked him straight in the eye. He was completely baffled by Ivan's words.

"I don't hate you, but it's a little weird since you're a total stranger."

Ivan nodded, accepting that answer. He perfectly understood it as well. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. You just seem like a nice person, so I felt like you wouldn't get mad at me if I'm attracted to you."

"I'm not mad; or scared really. I would never get mad at someone for liking me... but, naturally I'm going to be cautious, you know?"

Ivan nodded. "I know, I'm sorry. I don't mean to harm you at all." He then rubbed his neck, "Though, I don't expect you to believe me just because I say it..."

Gilbert shook his head. "No I believe you. I can tell... you're too gentle to have those intentions. I could tell from how you were clinging to me last night."

Ivan's lips pulled up into a smile, but they trembled like he was about to cry. He was glad there was finally a stranger who didn't think he was a big scary guy. "Thank you..."

Gilbert tilted his head. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine." Ivan nodded. "So... what about you? Do you think I'm cute?" The Russian asked playfully, looking about as innocent as a little puppy and rubbing his neck.

Gilbert's face visibly changed to red and he looked away quickly, hoping that the other couldn't see. "I... _may_ have thought that you were... handsome, or something." He answered in a reluctant mumble. Immediately after speaking he went to the table with the plate of pancakes and set it down. He turned around and suddenly gasped when Ivan was right there in front of him, with little more than a foot between them.

"Sorry." Ivan apologized and took a step back from the albino. Personal space was something Ivan had a bit of a problem with.

"It's all right." Gilbert replied quietly. "Sit. Eat as much as you want."

.

Gilbert watched Ivan carefully as they ate. He wanted to make sure that he liked the food, and by the way he was happily eating and smiling a little, Gilbert thought it was a success. The sound of eating utensils and soft chewing noises was driving him crazy, though. He hated it. He felt a tension in the air and he wasn't sure what was causing it, or if he was just over thinking and making himself anxious.

He knew one thing, though, he needed to say something. He parted his lips, trying to force a word out, but he felt almost scared to break the silence.

"Hey, Ivan." He started. His voice wavered a little, which made him feel a little embarrassed once the Russian looked up at him as he chewed. "If you want, you can stay here with me, since you still can't remember much."

Ivan stared at Gilbert for a few seconds, blinking slowly. He was surprised, considering how leery the albino seemed of him. However, he wasn't in any position to turn down any kindness, and Gilbert was offering him a lot of it.

"Thank you." Ivan smiled. "But, I have to ask... why are you out here all alone anyway?"

Gilbert bit his bottom lip before releasing it slowly. "My father is rich and travels the world a lot, so he lets his children have a lot of his fortune. I decided to buy this little house outside the city. It's an easy life because I don't have to work or worry about much, but it's mostly just lonely out here..."

Ivan smiled and looked down at his plate of half eaten pancakes covered in syrup. "Well, maybe I can change that?" He suggested, looking up to see Gilbert staring wide-eyed at him. "I'm kind of lonely too."

Gilbert felt his cheeks warm up again. Part of him couldn't believe that he was really allowing this man to stay with him, but he couldn't shake this feeling about Ivan. He liked him, and that little attraction was bugging him a lot. He wanted to act on it, to do _something_.

.

After eating, Gilbert collected the dirtied plates and set them in the sink. He rinsed them off and scrubbed at them. His mind was racing, trying to figure out what to say or do. He wasn't used to having guests over at all so he was at a loss on what do actually do with him. Especially since he was attracted to him and found himself wanting to kiss Ivan more than anything else. It was so unlike him to feel like this.

Ivan picked up on Gilbert's discomfort. It wasn't hard to tell; his back was stiff and the way he was cleaning made him seem very rushed and tense.

"Gilbert." Ivan spoke, and the albino turned his head to him quickly. "Is it okay if I take a shower? It's been a few days, and I'd rather not be smelly around you." He blushed softly in embarrassment. He really didn't want to stink around his crush, though he didn't smell bad at all. He mostly just wanted to give Gilbert some time alone.

Gilbert nodded, "Sure, I'll show you to the bathroom." He wiped his hands dry with a towel and then started walking toward the door, Ivan following him. The albino suddenly stopped when he thought of something, causing Ivan to bump into his back with a little 'oof' noise escaping his lips.

"Gilbert?"

The German turned and looked up at him, "You don't have any extra clothing here, I'm guessing everything you had with you got lost in the blizzard last night, and nothing I own will fit you."

"Ah." Ivan's mouth hung open for a moment. "Right... I didn't realize."

"Don't worry about it." Gilbert smiled. "I can take you shopping if you want? I have more than enough money to blow, and it could give us some time to get to know each other better."

Ivan adored that little smile, and the idea of getting to know Gilbert. He wanted to know everything, even little silly things that don't seem that important to him.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be a bother..." Ivan spoke.

Gilbert shook his head, "It's fine, really. It'd be nice to actually go out with someone for once." He kept his smile.

Ivan's face lit up, a little more color flowing onto his cheeks. "Out? You mean, like a date?" he asked, obviously insinuating something.

Gilbert looked at Ivan straight in the eye even though he looked a little embarrassed by the implication. "Is there something wrong with that?"

Gilbert's bold words made Ivan's heart flutter a little. "No... not at all, I'd like that." He lowered his face into his scarf and then mumbled quietly, "I'd like that a lot, actually..."

"Good, then let's go."

Gilbert turned on his heels and left the kitchen. Ivan followed like a puppy - something he's taken to doing a lot. Gilbert gathered his trench coat and boots from by the door, where Ivan's own coat and boots were as well. He waited for Ivan to finish getting ready and then opened the door, allowing Ivan to exit first.

.

Ivan waited for Gilbert, as he didn't know where to go. Gilbert gave him a little smile as he passed him and then stepped down the stone steps of his little home. The feeling came back to Ivan, the feeling of knowing Gilbert for years.

"Well? You comin'?" Gilbert asked, looking behind himself toward the dazed Russian, his hands buried into the pockets of his coat. A little smile pulled Ivan's lips up, and he almost hopped down the stairs of Gilbert's home to join him by his side. Gilbert gave him a raised eyebrow before beginning to walk again.

The albino made his way down a narrow path to the right of his house, it looked like it had recently been shoveled free of snow. There was a little black car pulled into the driveway with some snow covering the top. Gilbert leaned over the hood a little and brushed some of the snow off with his hands and arms.

"You can get in the car if you want." He told Ivan.

Ivan shook his head, "No I'll help you." He walked around the back of the car and started wiping the snow off the back window as well.

Gilbert smiled. He liked that Ivan was helping him. He had a good feeling about today, it felt like the start of something good that he had been waiting for.

After cleaning most of the snow from the car, they both got in and buckled up. Ivan felt a little giddy; he never experienced something like this before. Driving somewhere with a friend. It might sound silly to anyone else, but he was extremely happy that Gilbert at least liked him enough to do these things with him. He couldn't wait to see what else he could do with the albino.

.

Despite being excited, the car ride to the mall was a painfully quiet one. Gilbert seemed unnaturally focused on driving; his arms and hands stiff on the wheel, not taking his eyes off the road even for a split second. Ivan began to wonder what he was thinking, if it was something that he did to make him so tense. Before he knew it, Gilbert had parked the car and turned the engine off. He unbuckled his seatbelt and looked at Ivan.

"Ready?"

Ivan stared at him for a moment without answering, and then decided to completely ignore his question. "Did I do something to upset you?" he asked nervously.

Gilbert's eyes widened slightly. "What? No, you didn't do anything."

"You seemed really tense while driving, and you didn't talk at all..."

"The roads are really icy so I was paying attention so I wouldn't send us flying off the road and potentially kill us. And you didn't talk either you know." Gilbert raised his eyebrow again as he leaned back against his seat a little.

Ivan suddenly felt guilty for bringing it up. "Right, I'm sorry." He apologized, "Thank you for keeping us alive." He cracked a tiny smile.

Seeing the little smile made Gilbert smile as well. "You're welcome. Now let's go get you some new clothes." Gilbert pulled the handle on the inside of the car door and pushed it open.

Ivan joined him outside, and then followed Gilbert once again like a puppy. Gilbert led him inside the mall and glanced around as he walked.

"You seem like a fancier guy, right? You like dress shirts and pants?" Gilbert asked.

"I guess... anything casual will work."

Gilbert grinned. "Maybe I should pick stuff out for you."

"Okay." Ivan agreed quickly, and Gilbert froze in his tracks.

"I was kidding..." he mumbled, "but, do you really want me to?"

Ivan shrugged, "You would know what looks better on me, so maybe you can help?"

Gilbert blushed softly and rubbed his neck. "Well... all right." He suddenly grabbed Ivan's wrist and began to drag him toward a store he knew about.

Ivan looked down at where their bodies connected. He felt that warmth that he loved again. Gilbert's skin wrapped around his own felt so nice and it brought a little blush to his cheeks. Everything about Gilbert was perfect. He's sweet and kind, funny, and Ivan was a little embarrassed to admit how attractive he was; Gilbert was... hot. He figured that someone like Gilbert wouldn't look twice at him, but here they were - together. Gilbert did say he was handsome, so maybe Ivan had a chance after all. It kind of surprised Ivan how open Gilbert was about his attraction. Then again, he wasn't too secretive about his own feelings either.

"All right, this store is where I bought most of my clothes." Gilbert spoke after stopping in front of the entrance. He walked inside and Ivan hopped to catch up to him. The two began to pace through the lines of clothing racks and stands. "Just pick out whatever you want, I'll pay for it." Gilbert gave a smile to Ivan, who was already looking at a sweater near him, "Are you sure you want my help? I could just help you pick from what you choose."

Ivan looked to him. "Okay."

For once, Gilbert was the one tailing Ivan. Following him through the store and watching him pick out several pieces of clothing. After a few minutes, Ivan had an armful of clothes.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to buy all of this?" Ivan asked. He felt a little guilty about spending Gilbert's money; he already owed the albino a lot.

"Yes it's fine. Just get whatever you want." Gilbert reassured him.

Ivan smiled at the other, "Okay... I'd like to try this stuff on then."

The albino nodded and led Ivan over to a changing room and then sat on the floor beside it as Ivan went in.

Ivan began to try on the clothes. He dressed in a loose-fitting sweater that drooped over his hands a little and khakis. He looked at himself in the mirror and made a low groan in his throat. He wasn't any good at this.

"Gilbert?" Ivan spoke from inside.

Gilbert looked toward the door curiously, "Hm? Is something wrong?"

"Would you come look at this outfit for me? I want to know what you think."

Gilbert paused for a moment before standing. "All right, open the door."

The Russian did as told and cracked the changing room door open a little, and Gilbert peeked his head inside.

A little smile appeared on Gilbert's lips and he had to suppress a laugh. "You look cute." He meant his words to be teasing and playful, but they came out in a more genuine, sincere tone.

Ivan's cheeks turned pink at Gilbert's words and he looked away from him shyly. "All right, I'll get it then." He spoke.

Gilbert nodded and then left Ivan alone in the little room to try on the rest of his clothing. After some minutes, the Russian came back out in his original outfit, holding a sizable pile of clothes in his arms.

"Ready to check out?" Gilbert asked.

Ivan gave a nod, and Gilbert beckoned with his hand to follow. The albino led him to the counter and he greeted the woman working there. The girl gave him a weird look and couldn't seem to keep her eyes off of him. Ivan supposed it was because of his strange coloring; Gilbert didn't exactly look like everyone else. Ivan wondered if it made Gilbert feel alone or bad about himself. He hoped not. Ivan thought he was beautiful, though one stranger's opinion probably didn't mean much.

Gilbert got his money from his wallet as the woman finished bagging the clothing. The silence between Gilbert and the cashier made Ivan feel uncomfortable, but Gilbert seemed unfazed by it.

After a moment, Gilbert grabbed two of the bags from the counter and looked to Ivan. "Grab the other bag and we can go."

Ivan nodded and grabbed the bag. It was lighter than the two Gilbert was carrying and he felt bad about that. "Gilbert I can carry those, they're my clothes after all."

Gilbert glanced back to Ivan, and then handed him one of the bags. "I can help a little, y'know." He turned and continued to walk.

The Russian was stunned for a moment, feeling like he had offended Gilbert with what he said. He took a quick pace to catch up to him.

"I'm sorry..." he apologized.

Gilbert looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "For what?"

"For... for what I said." Ivan sounded confused, like he figured Gilbert knew why he was apologizing.

"Don't be sorry for that. I understand you wanting to carry your things, but let me help if I choose to."

Ivan nodded once. "Okay, I'm sorry."

Gilbert suddenly stopped in his tracks. "Stop apologizing. How many times have you said 'I'm sorry' today?" he questioned, looking up at Ivan with slightly annoyed eyes.

"I... I don't know."

"Too many." Gilbert sighed, "Just calm down, okay? I'm helping with your bags because I want to, that's all."

Ivan smiled a little. "Okay... thank you."

Gilbert returned that smile for a moment before speaking again. "Now, do you want something to drink while we're here, or maybe a snack?"

Ivan shook his head. "No that's all right. You've done enough for me already."

Gilbert groaned loudly in annoyance. "You don't owe me anything, Ivan; I'm doing this because I want to, not because I pity you or feel bad."

"I know but still! I feel like a burden on you and I just-" Gilbert covered his mouth with his free hand.

"Stop." He demanded lowly. "If you really want to pay me back, just give me your company. I said I was lonely, remember? So fix that and we'll be even."

Ivan couldn't help but blush as his thoughts ran with Gilbert's words. Gilbert's voice had gotten much lower and the look on his face was serious and demanding. Ivan couldn't tell if Gilbert was just making sure he was clear with him, or if the albino was actually upset.

However, giving this man his company wouldn't be such a bad price to pay.

.

The two left the mall, put the bags into Gilbert's car, and then headed back home. Once parked in the driveway, Ivan made sure to grab all the bags before Gilbert did, which the albino noticed. It made him feel a little irritated, but he supposed that Ivan felt like he owed Gilbert something, considering that he saved his life. Gilbert knew that Ivan wouldn't let that go anytime soon.

After entering the house and removing his coat, Ivan looked to Gilbert. "Can I take my shower now?"

Gilbert nodded. "Yeah. Let me show you where it's at." Ivan followed the albino down the hall. To the right there was Gilbert's room, Ivan remembered him telling him where it was, and on the left was the bathroom. "Just use whatever you want." He spoke. "I'll be in the living room when you're done. Also, I'll put your bags in my room so they're out of the way."

Ivan nodded. "Thank you." He quickly picked an outfit from one of the bags and let Gilbert leave with the others.

.

Gilbert left Ivan to himself and the Russian stripped himself of his clothing. He turned the water on and it came splaying out of the showerhead, soon filling the room with some steam. Ivan stepped into the several beams of water, his body instantly relaxed and he sighed in bliss from the warmth. He stood there for a moment; just letting the water beat down on his back, his eyes closed.

He then grabbed a bottle of shampoo sitting on a little shelf inside the shower. It had a picture of coconuts on it, and that scent was all right with Ivan. He wondered if this was Gilbert's preferred scent. He snapped the cap up and poured some of the translucent faded white liquid onto his palm, and then began massaging it into his hair.

He thought, _'I hope Gilbert likes this scent.'_ Which was silly because of course Gilbert likes it - it's _his_ shampoo. Ivan was really just hoping that Gilbert would like the scent on him. His mind began to wander with thoughts of Gilbert. He felt something strong for the albino, and it caused a weird feeling in his stomach.

He shook his head. _'No, no, I shouldn't be thinking like this...'_ he told himself. _'but still, I've never seen someone so beautiful...'_ He thought about how pale Gilbert is and his white hair too. Thinking about the albino made a desire grow in him, he wanted to cuddle and kiss him.

_'No, stop it.'_ he said in his head. He quickly rinsed the shampoo from his hair and turned the water off.

.

After drying his skin and hair and dressing himself, Ivan exited the bathroom and went back into the living room. His eyes scanned for Gilbert but he didn't see the albino anywhere. He walked further into the room and circled around the couch, and saw that Gilbert had fallen asleep on the cushions, lying on his side and looking utterly peaceful.

Ivan kneeled next to the couch and watched him for a moment. Gilbert's mouth was parted a centimeter, allowing his little breaths to exit, and his body moved slightly as he inhaled and exhaled. Ivan gently brushed the strands of white hair from Gilbert's forehead. _'He looks so beautiful. Like a sleeping angel.'_ He thought, and then smiled ever-so-slightly. _'My guardian angel...'_ he leaned in a little as he thought, and gently pressed his lips to Gilbert's forehead. He let his lips linger there for a moment as he enjoyed the warmth from the other's skin.

However, Gilbert instantly woke from the touch; he wasn't fully asleep to begin with, he just dozed off. As soon as he realized what was happening, he twitched backward and pressed himself into the couch as far away from Ivan as he could. The Russian fell backward in surprise, not having expected Gilbert to wake up.

Both of their faces were flushed pink, but Ivan looked like he knew he had done something terrible. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have kissed you but you just looked so adorable sleeping that I couldn't resist. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Ivan apologized frantically.

Gilbert blinked a few times in confusion and tilted his head a little. "It's... all right." He sat up some. "You just startled me."

"I'm sorry. I understand if you don't trust me at all now. I mean, I'm a stranger, and I just kissed you." Ivan covered his face with his hands. "I'm sorry."

"Will you stop it; didn't I tell you to stop apologizing?" Gilbert's eyebrows came together, but he wasn't angry or sad, he just wanted Ivan to stop apologizing. He felt like Ivan was terrified to do anything to him. He might even be afraid to speak.

"I'm not bothered that you kissed me, it just surprised me. I don't expect to be kissed so it caught me off guard."

"... are you sure?" Ivan asked.

"Yes, I'm sure." Gilbert nodded. He hesitated before speaking again. "So... is it true? That you couldn't resist kissing me because you think I'm cute?

Ivan's cheeks flushed darker but he gave a slow nod. "I think you're cute, and beautiful, and attractive..." Ivan muttered as if he was speaking to himself.

Gilbert tilted his head from one side to the other. "Do you want to kiss me again?" Ivan nodded again. "Then do it."

Ivan's eyes widened a little but only an idiot would refuse the offer, so he crawled back over to the couch and pressed his lips to Gilbert's forehead again. After a moment, he pulled back, smiling. However, his smile disappeared when he noticed Gilbert looking at him intently. A second later he realized that Gilbert's eyes were shifted down a little, staring at Ivan's lips.

Taking a bold chance driven by curiosity, Ivan leaned down a little more and then paused. He contemplated for a moment and then placed a soft kiss on Gilbert's lips. He expected to be pushed away or hit, but instead, he felt Gilbert push up against him into the kiss. Next, Ivan felt Gilbert's hands on his shoulders. The surprise and confusion overtook him and Ivan pulled back and blinked in bewilderment. In the silence, though, he understood by the look on Gilbert's face that the man wanted to be kissed again. His eyes were practically demanding it from Ivan. Without asking, Ivan crawled up onto the couch to get on top of Gilbert. The albino didn't protest or even say a single thing - he had only one thing on his mind, and Ivan gave it to him.

Ivan pressed his lips to Gilbert's again. This time a little more passionately than the previous, more experimental kiss. Gilbert completely gave into him, his arms wrapped up around Ivan's neck and he kissed the other back. For a while, their lips molded to the shape of each other's, massaging and rubbing in the sweetest and most loving way possible. Neither of them thought about what they were doing, it just felt right. It felt so warm and comfortable. Gilbert turned his head to take a new position. His lips parted for a moment, and Ivan took full advantage of that moment and slipped his tongue into Gilbert's mouth. The action surprised the albino and he squeaked when the wet muscle brushed against his own, but he did nothing to stop the kiss. The little sound Gilbert made only drove Ivan more and he made sure that their tongues grinded roughly. The sensation filling both of their bodies soon sent blood to somewhere other than their cheeks.

Gilbert felt it on his thigh, and it worried him.

"W-Wait-" He tried to speak between the kissing. "Ivan, s-stop." He pushed up against the Russian's chest.

Ivan finally broke the kiss, his face flushed and he was panting softly. He suddenly became aware of how aroused he was and quickly stumbled off of Gilbert and onto the floor. He shoved his hands between his legs. He was embarrassed and ashamed.

Gilbert turned onto his side and looked at Ivan. His face was a dark red and he felt a little aroused as well.

"I'm sorry, I just got carried away. I didn't mean to scare you!" Ivan started his frantic apologizing again.

Gilbert gave a weak nod. "It's all right... it's not your fault, I was part of it too so I'm just as much at fault..." he spoke quietly like he was frightened. He couldn't lie and say that feeling Ivan's growing erection on his leg wasn't a little scary, but he just focused on the kissing part. "Maybe next time, we just take it slower...?"

Ivan perked up, looking confusedly hopeful. "Next time?"

"Yeah I... I liked that kiss too much to not do it again." He admitted, blushing a bit more.

Ivan scooted a little closer, "So... you want to kiss me again?"

Gilbert was silent, and then leaned up and pressed his lips to Ivan's firmly. After a few seconds, he pulled back, "Yes."

The answer was wonderful to hear, and Ivan smiled like a small child on Christmas morning. He quickly kissed Gilbert again, making the albino squeak softly in surprise. This time, Ivan went slow, taking his time to really feel Gilbert against his lips, how they felt went sliding across each other, and the cute little popping sound that was made when they pulled away just for a second.

Ivan finally moved back, but only for a moment. He went back to his previous position of lying on top of Gilbert, with the albino's approval of course, and resumed the kiss. However, it didn't last long. Ivan gave him a few separate quick kisses and then just snuggled into him, burying his face into his neck.

Gilbert placed a hand on Ivan's head and the other on his back; he played with his hair for a moment. "Do you remember anything else yet?"

The Russian shook his head subtly. "No, nothing..."

Gilbert's arms tightened around Ivan and he breathed out some warm air. He rolled his head to the side and kissed into Ivan's hair. "It's all right. You're safe here with me."

Ivan shifted his body and nuzzled closer to the other. "Thank you for being so nice to me, even after I scared you..."

Gilbert shushed him quietly as he ran his fingers through the ash-blond hair. "It's okay, I'm not scared."

Neither said another word. For minutes, they just laid there - bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. They breathed softly against one another; it was so nice and warm. The feeling of another against them was something they both craved. However, they didn't realize that they'd so easily take the next person they had a chance with. It was strange for both of them. Neither had much experience with being close or romantic with another person, but for some reason, this felt natural. Like they were a match. Though, that's impossible. Anyone could have found Ivan out there in the snow, and Gilbert was just being nice and comforting while his memories came back. It just so happens that they find each other attractive.

Breathing became something of an issue for Gilbert, as Ivan was rather heavy and he was lying right on his chest. He felt a cough building in his throat. He let out a tiny huff of air and gave a gentle ruffle to Ivan's hair.

"Do you want lunch? I can make sandwiches for us."

Ivan lifted his body a little to look at Gilbert, who was smiling at him. Ivan nodded and sat up, bringing his legs up to Gilbert's sides, straddling him by accident. He realized the position, but by time he did, both he and Gilbert were blushing. Gilbert had his eyes shifted away from the Russian on top of him. Ivan didn't want to move yet. He leaned back down and gently brushed his fingers across Gilbert's jaw to make him look back at him, and then kissed him. As Ivan pulled away, Gilbert leaned up to trail after the kiss. Ivan thought it was adorable. He stood up and held his hand out to Gilbert, and the albino took him up on the offer and placed his hand in his. He lifted himself off of the couch and stood up as well. Without separating their hands, Gilbert pulled Ivan to the kitchen.

.

Gilbert had told Ivan to sit as he made them sandwiches. Which was fine with Ivan; the Russian enjoyed watching Gilbert work. There was a sort of elegance and appeal to the way Gilbert held himself when doing even the most simple of tasks. Ivan couldn't quite put his finger on what it was that made Gilbert so attractive in his eyes. Maybe it was his usual coloring, how nice he was, or that he saved him. Whatever the reason, Ivan found himself able to stare at Gilbert for a long time.

Gilbert knocked Ivan from his trance when he turned around. He went over to the table and placed a plate in front of Ivan.

"You all right? You look a bit jumpy." Gilbert sat in the chair next to him, setting his own plate down.

Ivan blushed and looked down at the sandwich. It looked so nicely put together. Even with things like this, Gilbert is neat and organized. "I'm fine, I was just thinking..."

"And you're blushing, because...?" Gilbert hummed a little and bit into his sandwich, giving a half grin as he chewed.

The Russian's little blush darkened. "I was watching you... I like watching you."

Gilbert stopped chewing and his eyes widened. He swallowed with some difficulty. "Watching me? Like... just watching me do random stuff?"

Ivan nodded in shame. "I don't know why, I just do."

A little smile appeared on Gilbert's lips. "Eat your food."

The Russian looked up at him too see that smile. Gilbert wasn't bothered by his comment? He didn't find it creepy? It almost made Ivan tear up a little. He did as told and took a bite of his sandwich.

Gilbert eyed Ivan as he ate. He wondered what the Russian saw in him when he watched him. What did he think? It couldn't be something bad since Ivan seemed to actually like him. The idea made Gilbert smile to himself. He was happy that Ivan was here. He didn't feel as lonely anymore.

Ivan looked up after a moment. "Gilbert, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure." Gilbert nodded.

"Why are you out here all alone? I know you said your father is rich, but why do you choose to stay here by yourself? Why not go into town and live there?"

Gilbert placed his sandwich down and pressed his cheek into the palm of his hand. He thought about his answer for a few seconds. "I'm scared, to be honest."

"Scared?"

Gilbert nodded. "After my mom died and my father started traveling, I had my brother. Then he got older and started his own company and works alongside our father. I was left behind and alone, so I just accepted it. Now I'm at a point where I'm scared to approach people."

"You approached me."

"You were _unconscious_."

Ivan chuckled. "I guess you're right."

"I helped you because I hate seeing others hurt. I didn't expect you to actually be this nice to me."

The Russian smiled. "You're nice to me, so of course I'm nice to you."

"I wish everyone was that way. Most people think I'm strange looking, but there are people who like me, but for wrong reasons."

"I don't think you look strange." Ivan stated. "You look different and unusual, but not in a bad way... I think you're beautiful, like an angel."

Gilbert's face burned with a slight warmth. "Really...? You think I- ... an angel? Really?" he sounded and looked stunned.

Ivan nodded. "Is there a problem with that?"

"No, not at all..." Gilbert shook his head, "I'm just, not used to being associated with something so... well, beautiful." He gave a shy smile.

Ivan simply began eating again, smiling a little as he did.

.

Once they were both done eating, Gilbert took the plates to the sink and washed them off. He couldn't help but think that Ivan was watching him again, and he was right. The Russian had his eyes trained onto him, watching his face and then his arms and his hands. Ivan couldn't help from scanning down Gilbert's thin body either; the man was, quite simply, sexy.

Thinking that made Ivan blush. He wasn't used to this feeling at all.

"Hey Ivan, do you want to build a snowman?" Gilbert asked as he turned to face him, wiping his hands dry with a white cloth.

Ivan was still somewhat lost in his daydream. "... what?"

"I know it sounds kind of childish, but there's not much else to do, and the snow has stopped."

"Oh... oh!" Ivan suddenly beamed and stood up. "Yes, yes I'd like that!"

"All right calm down, it's just a snowman." Gilbert chuckled at Ivan's outburst. It was cute though; did Ivan like making snowmen?

"Sorry, I just... remember that I like building them."

Gilbert's eyes widened a little. "You remembered something again? Is that all?"

Ivan nodded. "I like being in the snow, and building snowmen."

Gilbert set the cloth on the counter top and smiled. "Well, let's go then, you can borrow a pair of my gloves." He walked toward the living room, and Ivan quickly followed him.

* * *

**Notes:**  
•Ivan said "I'm sorry" 9 times before Gilbert asked him how many times he had said it.


	2. Part 2

Part 2 of 'Icebreaker'.

.

****Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, nor am I making any money off of this or any of my other writings.**

****Warnings: Yaoi, fluff, smut, oral sex, language.**

* * *

Gilbert slipped on his heavy winter coat that was more poofy and big than his trench coat. He pulled his gloves on and shoved his feet into his boots. After Ivan put his own coat and scarf on, Gilbert handed him an extra pair of gloves. They were a little small for him, but at least they were tight and would keep the snow out.

The air outside smelled fresh and felt a little chilly. The sky was clear and the sun was out, so it made it a bit warmer. Gilbert smiled and hopped down the steps and ran into the open field in front of his home. Ivan couldn't help but smile as well and chased after him. He felt like a child - they both did.

Gilbert got down on his knees and began to push some snow together. Ivan was a few feet away from him and doing the same, figuring that he'd start on the second ball. After some annoying failures of trying to get the ball to pack well, Gilbert finally got his snowball started, and began rolling it through the snow. He pushed it passed Ivan, smiling at him as he went by. The Russian blushed and buried his face into his scarf. Gilbert was just so cute! He wanted to hug him and kiss him more!

Ivan focused on his own ball and began to push it through the snow as well, following Gilbert. He noticed Gilbert struggling to push the ball he had created. It was too big for him to push anymore, but he assumed that Gilbert wanted the snowman closer to the house.

Gilbert pushed his weight against the ball but it wouldn't budge, and his feet just cut through the snow. He sighed, ready to just give up on it, but then he saw Ivan's hands press against the ball as well. Gilbert looked to him and saw him smiling. He then moved over a little, and both started to push. Luckily, they were able to push the snowball more toward the house. Once they stopped, the albino slumped against the ball, feeling the cold against the back of his head. Ivan stood up and rolled the other ball over to him, and Gilbert helped Ivan lift it up onto the bigger one.

Once the second ball was in place, Ivan spent some time making sure it was secure onto the bottom one, packing some snow around the edges to keep it in place. Meanwhile, Gilbert was busy at work rolling the final ball through the snow. Before it got too big, Gilbert lifted the snowball up and then rolled it onto the others. Ivan smiled and then began to carve a mouth, nose, and eyes into the ball with his finger.

As Ivan was making the face, Gilbert suddenly got a mischievous little idea. He knelt back to the ground and began loosely packing another snowball together. When he saw Ivan stand back from their snowman, he grinned and threw the snowball at Ivan's back.

The impact made Ivan flinch a little, but it wasn't thrown hard enough to hurt. He turned around to see Gilbert on the ground, smirking proudly. Ivan was confused for a moment but then his lips turned up into a childish smile. He leaned down and began packing a snowball together as well.

Gilbert chuckled a little and stood up, he ran a few feet away and began to pack another ball together. Before he was finished, he felt something hit his arm, snow splattered on his sleeve. He pouted a little and threw his ball at Ivan. He missed and he heard Ivan laugh at him. The laugh fueled Gilbert's determination and suddenly they were moving around the yard, packing little snowballs together and throwing them. Ivan proved to have much better aim than Gilbert since the albino's coat was covered in snow, and Ivan was practically untouched. Ivan was better at making the snowballs too, producing them faster than Gilbert, and all the German could do was run to keep his distance. He became tired, though, and Ivan was catching up to him. Gilbert began to smack the snow around him as he ran, kicking it up into the air to hopefully 'blind' Ivan so he could escape.

Gilbert was laughing and panting, his heartbeat racing. He hadn't had this much fun in a long time. Ivan was chasing him and still throwing loose balls of snow at him, only a few hitting. It became harder to run, and soon, Ivan caught up to Gilbert, grabbed onto his wrist, and then pulled. Gilbert yelped in surprise as he lost his balance and fell over, landing into the snow on his back. Ivan still had a hold of his arm, so he went down as well, landing next to the albino.

Gilbert groaned a little and blinked his eyes open, and his eyes went wide when he saw that Ivan was suspended above him and smiling down at him. The albino couldn't help from tensing up a little. Ivan looked like he was in such a playful mood. He guessed that both of them were, but now, Gilbert was tired from running. A little blush appeared on Gilbert's cheeks.

"Caught ya." Ivan grinned.

Gilbert scoffed weakly and turned his head away, averting his eyes from the Russian.

Ivan couldn't take his eyes off of Gilbert. He blended in so well with the snow since it was so bright outside. Like Ivan had just dug Gilbert up from the snow after being buried for years. His own snow angel.

Gilbert noticed that Ivan wasn't moving off of him and he looked back. Violet eyes were staring down at him. He felt his cheeks warm up more.

Ivan's hand then touched against his forehead and Gilbert subtly leaned into the touch. The Russian brushed some of his white hair away. "Am I allowed to kiss you?" he asked.

Once again, Gilbert was caught staring at Ivan's lips. He managed to give a small nod and Ivan leaned down more. He then stopped an inch from Gilbert's lips when he heard the albino inhale sharply.

"Are you all right?" Ivan asked him.

Gilbert nodded again. "Yeah, I just... really want to kiss you, and I don't know why."

Ivan smiled a little. "Me too."

He kissed Gilbert then. He let his body rest gently atop Gilbert's as he moved his lips against his. The weight made it harder for Gilbert to breathe, but even so, he didn't have any desire to change the situation at all. Gilbert lifted his head into the kiss, anxiously, almost desperately, kissing the Russian back.

_'Why do I want him so bad...?'_ Gilbert asked himself as his lips puckered into Ivan's. Ivan pushed against him, his lips clasping around Gilbert's bottom one, tugging gently as he pulled back slightly. Soon, Ivan cautiously slipped his tongue out of his mouth and prodded at Gilbert's lips, wondering if it was okay to come inside again. Gilbert granted him permission and obediently opened his mouth for Ivan, and the Russian wasted no time in entering and slamming their tongues together.

A surprised squeak sounded in Gilbert's throat and got lost between their mouths. The albino's back arched, causing his front to press up into Ivan's. The reaction excited Ivan and he blushed. He circled his tongue around Gilbert's with just enough pressure to make the albino moan into his mouth. The Russian's body burned with a desire to hear Gilbert's voice more. Ivan's hands trailed down Gilbert's sides, groping gently through his thick coat as they went. Gilbert's body seemed to shift as Ivan's hands roamed him, every movement, every touch, brought a reaction from him. Ivan licked and rubbed at Gilbert's tongue, making him moan more. He wanted to hear how loud he could make Gilbert get just using his tongue. He blushed at his thoughts. It was so unlike him to act like this, but Gilbert seemed to just bring it out of him.

Gilbert felt Ivan grope at his waist, and he got that tightening feeling in his gut as he moaned softly into Ivan's mouth again. Some fear also settled in. He wondered if he was scared or just anxious for more. He knew he could be scared in a good way and this was unfamiliar to him, but his body was craving it; he was deprived of this sort of thing. It was a good scared.

However, Gilbert soon needed to breathe and he broke away from the kiss, panting and looking slightly aroused.

Ivan, not knowing of Gilbert's thoughts, believed he had taken it too far and started to panic again. His face lit up a bright pink and he stuttered to speak. "I-I'm sorry, are you okay? Did I do something wrong?" he asked frantically.

Gilbert flushed in embarrassment from his newfound realization of how lustful he actually was. His body was untouched and he _wanted_ it to be touched. He just needed to make sure that Ivan was okay with it too...

"Yes, I'm fine..." the albino finally spoke, albeit quietly and shyly as he glanced to the side. "You just... touched somewhere sensitive..." he lied. In truth, when Ivan touched his waist, he wanted to thrust up against him.

Ivan sat up, straddling Gilbert again. "Maybe we should stop?"

_'No. I don't want to.'_ Gilbert thought with no hesitation. He nodded, "Yeah..." and sat up as well.

Ivan suddenly kissed Gilbert again, holding his chin between his gloved fingers. The kiss caught Gilbert off guard, he wasn't expecting another kiss after what Ivan said, but he welcomed it and melted into it. Ivan pulled away from the sweet kiss and then stood up; he brushed the snow from his coat and then extended his hand to Gilbert. The albino took his hand and was pulled up from the ground.

.

Back inside, a heavy tense silence fell over both of them. They sat on the couch, sitting about as far away from each other as possible. Gilbert was aching to be touched and Ivan was bombarded with thoughts of them as well. Ivan wasn't sure what to do, how much Gilbert would let him do. Gilbert was wondering the same thing, but he wanted to test himself too.

Ivan finally spoke up. "Um, Gilbert?" the albino quickly snapped his head to look at Ivan. "I, uh... want to talk about... us." His throat was dry, like he was extremely dehydrated.

"Us?" Gilbert tilted his head slightly.

"Yeah... like, are we- ... do we... um..." The Russian fumbled in embarrassment, not sure how to word his feelings.

"Ivan?"

"Do you like me?" Ivan bluntly asked. He figured that it would be best to be blunt and clear about it.

The question made Gilbert blush faintly. He looked down at his clasped hands in his lap. "I figured letting you kiss me was a pretty good indication of that..."

Ivan looked down and got even more flustered. "I know, but... we barely know each other, and things keep escalating with each kiss, I just... don't want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

Pinkish blue eyes widened. Gilbert said Ivan's name and moved toward him. When Ivan looked, Gilbert suddenly took the Russian's cheeks into his hands and then kissed him. Ivan's face tinted pink and his eyes shot open wide. When Gilbert didn't release him after a few seconds, Ivan began to weakly kiss back.

Gilbert broke the kiss. "I know you're not taking advantage of me. I like you, Ivan; I'm more attracted to you than anyone I've ever seen." Ivan's face burned red at the comment. "I mean, I've even had little thoughts of you recently." Gilbert glanced away shyly.

"Thoughts?" Ivan inquired, hoping that Gilbert would elaborate more.

Gilbert looked back at him, his eyebrows knitted together in guilt and some shame. Ivan understood what the expression meant and it made him blush because now he was thinking of some naughty things too.

"What... what sort of thoughts have you had?" Ivan asked, desperately wanting to know.

Gilbert became flustered and moved away from Ivan. He sat there in silence for a moment, biting the inside of his bottom lip. "I've wanted to kiss you from the moment I woke up this morning. I thought you looked really handsome while you were sleeping in my arms, and... when you told me that you think I'm attractive too, it frightened me at first, but then things just kept happening, and I realized that I want you." He blushed and fumbled his fingers together. "I don't understand why I feel like this, I've never felt so attracted to someone before..."

Ivan noticed how red Gilbert's face was, though his own was just as red. He scooted over just a little. "I understand... I, feel the same way..." he admitted.

Gilbert suddenly stood up. He stood in front of Ivan, looking determined and flustered. "I... I want to, do stuff with you... so, can we maybe... try something?"

Ivan blushed and slowly nodded his head. _'What are you going to do...?'_ he thought to himself.

Gilbert bit his lip and then slowly and cautiously lifted his leg to one side of Ivan's thigh. He gripped onto Ivan's shoulders for support and paused for a second before moving his other leg up to fully straddle Ivan. He was testing how it felt to have Ivan between his legs like this, and he found that he quite liked it.

Ivan on the other hand, his face colored a whole darker shade of red once Gilbert sat on his thighs. Straddling Gilbert was one thing, but having the albino straddling _him?_ That felt entirely different. Still, even in his embarrassment, he wanted to touch Gilbert. The albino looked distressed, clearly not used to doing this sort of thing, but it was also clear that he wanted it. Ivan felt like touching him would help him relax, like comforting him and showing that he's all right. The Russian placed his hands on the German's thin waist and then groped gently. This did something for Gilbert, as when Ivan did so, Gilbert rocked forward and scooted up on Ivan's lap. Pale arms wrapped around Ivan's shoulders.

The movement gave Gilbert a weird feeling in his lower abdomen, like the one from before. He felt Ivan's hands tenderly gripping at his skin through his jeans. The feeling pleased and comforted him some.

"Are you all right?" Ivan asked and then kissed Gilbert's cheek softly.

"I'm okay." Gilbert nodded. He moved back a little and looked at Ivan, desperate for something, and then kissed him.

The sudden kiss made Ivan jerk back slightly in surprise, but he liked that Gilbert was kissing him. His hands held firmly onto Gilbert's body as the albino led the kiss himself. The smaller male was definitely impatient, quickly licking at Ivan's lips. Ivan complied and opened his mouth, which Gilbert then darted his tongue in. Once inside, Gilbert began to slow his haste, he rubbed his tongue against Ivan's with an agonizing slowness and just enough pressure to send blood south. Gilbert was growing aroused from the kiss; the man began to rock his hips forward on Ivan's lap, like he was using his body to tell Ivan that he wanted him.

Ivan noticed this and felt himself getting turned on. Out of curiosity, he slid his hands back a little and gave a gentle squeeze to Gilbert's ass. Gilbert gasped in reaction and moved closer on Ivan's lap so that every time he rocked forward, his belly would touch Ivan's.

Gilbert felt his heart flutter and his groin tighten. Ivan's action made his body fill with an internal warmth. He loved that Ivan was touching him more now. _'I want more. I want him to touch me more.'_ He thought desperately as he continued to sloppily make out with the Russian. A stream of saliva was running down his chin and he was moaning softly into the kiss, rocking his hips a little quicker now. The Russian gripped onto Gilbert's hips again, but he didn't stay still for long. He began to push and pull the smaller male in sync with his little thrusts.

_'Fuck...'_ Gilbert opened his mouth wide, disconnecting their lips but still having their tongues sliding against each other. _'This is bad...'_ he squeezed his eyes shut as Ivan started to rub his tongue rougher against his. The Russian forced their mouths closed and started to push and pull Gilbert faster.

Suddenly, like something shattering under too much pressure, Gilbert broke away from the kiss, panted out heavily, and stopped moving his hips. His face a dark red and his ears matching in color, his eyes were completely glazed over with lust.

Ivan felt a pang of guilt in his gut and he started to worry that maybe Gilbert didn't want to do this anymore. "Gilbert? Gilbert, are you okay? If you want to stop we can, I-"

"N-No, it's fine, don't stop." The albino panted. "I want you to touch me." Desperation was in his voice along with a slight rasp. He moved off of Ivan and lied on the couch beside him, his legs spread for the other.

Ivan blushed from Gilbert's words, but satisfied his curiosity, "Touch you? How do you mean?"

Gilbert replied by beginning to unbutton his shirt. He stopped at a few buttons down after becoming annoyed and simply reached down to his pants and undid them, pulling the zipper down as well. Ivan's eyes widened when he saw what Gilbert was doing; his heart raced just thinking of what was coming next. Gilbert pushed his pants off of his hips to reveal his tight black boxer briefs, and his semi-erection that the underwear just couldn't hide. Ivan couldn't look away from the pale skin of Gilbert's thighs and belly. He found himself wanting to run his hands over every inch of that creamy skin. Gilbert continued and pushed his pants down more until they reached his knees, at that point, he gave up on removing them completely. The German went back to his shirt and undid the remaining few buttons and pushed the material open, exposing his chest and stomach.

The Russian moved a bit closer, completely entranced by Gilbert. _'His nipples are pink...'_ he made a mental note; they were the same color as his lips. _'I want to touch them...'_ It didn't take long for Ivan to put that desire into action. His hand found Gilbert's ribcage and slowly grazed up until he cupped his hand loosely around the area of one of Gilbert's nipples. He curiously poked the nub; Gilbert squeaked quietly and closed his eyes.

Suddenly something entered Ivan's mind and he looked worriedly at the other. "Gilbert... are you a virgin?" he asked.

Gilbert blinked his eyes open and looked at Ivan in confusion. "... yeah, why?" he didn't see why it mattered.

Ivan sat back. "I can't do this then, we just met..."

"So!? I don't care! It's not like I'm asking you to fuck me!" he felt something come over him and he felt like crying. He whimpered. "Please Ivan, I want you to touch me..." he begged.

Even more guilt filled Ivan. "Are you sure?" he asked. Gilbert nodded weakly, looking desperate. Ivan sighed and moved between thin legs. He slid a hand up Gilbert's stomach to his chest. He still didn't feel right about this. It wasn't like he was forcing Gilbert into it, and Ivan himself wanted it too, but something just felt... wrong. Was it okay for Gilbert to so willingly let a stranger be the first to touch his beautiful body? Ivan figured that it was Gilbert's choice to make; it's his body after all, and Ivan wanted to touch it too.

Ivan gently prodded at the nipple he had previously touched; he began to rub it in slow circles with the pad of his finger. He noticed immediately that Gilbert's body relaxed, he moaned softly too, which was a good sign.

"Does it feel good?" Ivan asked, continuing the slow circles.

The albino gave a tiny nod. "It does." He spoke shyly.

Ivan smiled sweetly and brought his free hand up to the other nipple. Instead of the gentle rubbing the other was receiving, he began to pinch this one with just enough force to cause a slight amount of pain, while still rubbing the other one as well.

"Does this feel good too?" He asked, wanting to know how Gilbert felt. Though it wasn't too hard to see it in the albino's body language, he was shifting his body a little, like he was itching for more.

Gilbert only nodded. The rubbing and pinching was creating a slight pleasure and pain that felt really good to him. Having the two feelings at once made his body burn.

Once he got his answer, Ivan leaned down and kissed the skin between the two nipples he was adoring. Gilbert breathed in, growing hotter and more anxious. Suddenly, one nipple received a different treatment than before. Ivan gently gave a lick to one of the nubs. Gilbert gasped and whined quietly, and Ivan loved those sounds, so he continued licking, sucking, and gently biting at it.

Gilbert writhed, feeling heat pooling in his stomach. He felt himself getting harder and subtly thrust his hips up against the Russian. "Ivan... touch me..."

"I... I am touching you." Ivan looked up at him in confusion.

"No... _touch_ me." Gilbert repeated and gave another thrust of his hips for emphasis.

Ivan made a small 'o' with his mouth, finally understanding what Gilbert was asking of him. He supposed that touching the albino's nipples was only stimulating for a short time, though it seemed to work marvelously. Ivan moved his body down Gilbert's so he was closer to the area Gilbert wanted some attention in. The albino was almost fully erect and clearly straining against his boxer briefs. The Russian moved a hand down the flat stomach and grazed it over Gilbert's cock. He felt the albino shudder.

"Are you absolutely sure?" he wanted to be certain that Gilbert was fully aware of what he was asking for.

Gilbert smiled at Ivan. "Yes, I'm sure." He looked aroused and needy, but he managed to keep his voice from wavering.

Ivan nodded and looked back down. He gripped at the hem of Gilbert's underwear and slowly pulled them down. He stopped when he saw the tuft of white hair and he blinked in shock and curiosity. He wasn't sure what he expected to find, since Gilbert is albino, of course every bit of hair was going to be white, but it was still a bit... unusual, and it caught Ivan off guard.

"You're white down here too..." he mumbled in a trance.

Gilbert looked down at him. "Oh, yeah... is that weird?"

"No... not weird, just... unusual. Interesting." Ivan seemed entranced by it almost. Gilbert was just so unlike anyone he's ever seen. Ivan had begun to think of him as an angel that came out of the snow and saved him, that he was _his_ angel, just for him. So beautiful. He continued to pull the underwear down until Gilbert's erection was fully free. He felt aroused just by the sight of the pink organ in front of him. Gilbert felt embarrassed when he saw Ivan staring at his manly parts; it was a bit humiliating to just be gawked at like this. Though he did ask for it, he still felt a bit nervous and shy to receive this sort of treatment.

Ivan finally took Gilbert's cock into his hand. He gave it a few weak pumps to test how Gilbert reacted, which was pretty good, the albino breathed in heavily and held the air in for a moment. The Russian got an idea and his face flushed red from it. Gilbert never told him what exactly he wanted Ivan to do to him, so... he lowered his head and gave an experimental lick to the tip of the erect cock. Gilbert gasped out, jerked his hips up, and clenched his hands into fists. He was already breathing heavily and his teeth were grit tightly. Ivan realized how badly Gilbert wanted to be touched by him and he didn't want to torture the boy, so he gave him what he wanted. With one solid and fluid motion, Ivan swallowed Gilbert up into his mouth. The loud gasp and whine that followed from the albino made Ivan flush more. He began to rub his tongue along the underside of Gilbert's cock. He then licked all the way up to the tip where he sucked gently around the head, tasting pre-cum. He looked up through half-lidded eyes to watch Gilbert's expression. Gilbert's nails dug into the fabric of the couch under him as his back arched, his toes curled when his body jolted each time Ivan sucked him. He couldn't believe how good this felt. He had masturbated before out of loneliness and curiosity, but this felt totally different. Even Ivan's hand felt so much better than his own. The albino started to moan after a few short moments, and it was like music to Ivan's ears. He had wanted to hear Gilbert's voice more and now that he heard it, blood rushed to his own cock and it drove him to suck harder. Gilbert cried out, his body trembling with ecstasy and his breath came out in short ragged pants. He looked down at Ivan through white lashes with half-lidded, lust-filled eyes.

"Ivan, I'm... I'm-" He gasped; Ivan licked directly across the slit of his cock. He didn't need to hear the rest of Gilbert's sentence. Ivan knew all too well that the raspy tone in Gilbert's throat meant he was getting close to his orgasm. He slowed his pace and kept his eyes locked with Gilbert's the entire time, and then slipped one of his hands down further to grasp the other organs between his legs. The albino's stomach caved in from inhaling through his nose. The Russian looking at him as his mouth and tongue slipped over his cock sent stimulation shooting through him, and now with Ivan gently rubbing and squeezing his balls, the albino felt nothing but sweet pleasure and heat in every part of his body. Gilbert slipped one hand into Ivan's hair and rubbed around gently, and judging from the little moan Ivan made when he did, Gilbert assumed that he liked it.

The albino's bottom lip was trembling with a need for release, as was the rest of his body, but the soft touches from Ivan were so perfect, he didn't want it to end. Ivan had stopped caressing his balls and began to rub at Gilbert's leg in a tender way, rubbing his thigh and then trying to reach around to grope his ass again, but failing since the couch was in the way. He had half a mind to lift those narrow hips, grope his cute little rump and continue sucking him off like that. Ivan resisted that urge, blushed from his thoughts, and continued to lick and suck. He wrapped his lips around the head and gave a tight suck, and that sent Gilbert over his limit. His groin spasmed and he released his seed into Ivan's warm mouth with a soft cry. His body went limp onto the couch and he breathed out in heavy pants.

Ivan swallowed every drop and then wiped at his lips. He looked up at Gilbert, "Are you all right?" he asked, making sure. Gilbert had his arm over his eyes, hiding most of his face. He didn't answer, which worried Ivan so he moved up closer. _'His face is still so red and he's panting so much...'_ Ivan felt guilty, like he had done something wrong. He began to rub at Gilbert's side in a gentle manner, hoping to calm him down or make him feel comforted.

The touch made Gilbert finally look at Ivan; his eyes were heavy looking, so tired.

"You okay?" Ivan asked.

Gilbert nodded. "I just needed a moment to catch my breath."

The statement made Ivan blush, like it was proof that he did a good job and satisfied him. He smiled and leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek.

Gilbert blushed, but not from the kiss. When Ivan pulled away, Gilbert's eyes trailed down. He could clearly see that Ivan was erect.

Ivan noticed that Gilbert was looking at him, and he shyly looked away. He felt Gilbert's hands grip onto his shoulders and push him back.

"I'll... take care of it for you, okay?" Gilbert got up and finished removing his pants, slipping his boxers off as well.

Seeing Gilbert remove everything except for his open shirt was incredibly arousing, but he couldn't help but think that Gilbert meant sex. However, any question about that disappeared when Gilbert got down on his knees and pushed Ivan's legs apart.

"I've never done this before, so..." Gilbert spoke shyly. He knew he wasn't going to be any good at this, so he wanted to warn Ivan now.

"Then don't do it."

"No! I want to!" Gilbert exclaimed with determination, "You did it to me, now it's my turn to make you feel good!" he almost roughly grabbed the front of Ivan's pants; taking Ivan by surprised and unbuttoned them, and then pulled the zipper down. He tugged the pants down some, as well as the boxers underneath, and then paused, his eyes going wide.

Ivan was... considerably larger than Gilbert, and it actually intimidated him. Gilbert blushed as he stared at the erection. _'How am I going to fit this in my mouth...?'_ He looked back up at Ivan.

"Don't push yourself; I want you to be comfortable."

The albino looked to Ivan when he spoke. "It's okay, I'm just... a little nervous. You're... big." Gilbert mumbled in embarrassment.

Ivan flushed a bright red and covered his mouth with one of his hands. It was absolutely adorable how Gilbert said that, though it was embarrassing as well.

Gilbert thought it was cute how Ivan was like this; he liked seeing the Russian blush so much because of him. He looked back down at Ivan's cock and hesitated. He wobbled on his knees and moved closer, and then gently pressed his lips to the tip of the erection. He heard Ivan hiss softly above him. Was that a good sign? Gilbert didn't know. The albino ignored it for now and slowly began to stretch his mouth over the other.

Seeing himself gradually disappear inside Gilbert's warm, wet mouth all but drove Ivan crazy. It was so alluring and arousing to see those pretty pink lips wrapped around him, feeling that soft tongue pressing against him. He wanted to thrust up into Gilbert's mouth, but he resisted the urge to do so with every ounce of his being. He had to keep his lust in check; he didn't want to scare Gilbert.

The albino took in as much of Ivan's length as he could without triggering a gag reflex. His jaw felt stiff and tight and hurt a little. This wasn't comfortable at all. He slipped off of Ivan and looked back up at him.

Ivan was completely frozen by the look he received, and the fact that there was a little bit of saliva running down Gilbert's chin. "W-What...?"

A tiny smile appeared on Gilbert's lips. "Nothing, you're just really cute." He spoke, and then watched Ivan's face light up red. He smiled at him for a moment and then went back down, leaving a trail of light kisses along Ivan's hot skin as he gently stroked with his hand. He knew he couldn't fit all of Ivan into his mouth without gagging, so he'd have to do some other things. Besides, he wasn't exactly comfortable with the feeling of having Ivan in his mouth; it was uncomfortable and hurt his jaw.

The Russian watched him with squinted eyes, his dark eyebrows pulled together. He loved the feeling of Gilbert's pink lips leaving burning kisses wherever they touched. However, he felt incredibly embarrassed by the fact that this beautiful boy was sucking him off. It almost didn't feel real. Soon, he had to make sure that he wasn't dreaming and he slowly began to stroke Gilbert's hair. The albino made a little grunt but didn't seem bothered by the touch.

Gilbert soon kissed all the way back down to the tip. He gave a lazy lick to the slit, tasting some pre-cum as he thought about what to do. Should he try to take Ivan in again? Or keep kissing along his shaft? He didn't know what made Ivan feel better. He decided to try again and took Ivan back into his mouth. He went as far as he could and then triggered his gag reflex, causing his throat to tighten a bit around Ivan's cock. A moan escaped the Russian's lips from the sudden contraction and he covered his mouth again.

The albino pulled back and sucked a few times on the head. He began to lick it slowly, paying extra attention to the slit. He noticed how Ivan started to grunt and twitch, moaning quietly as he did. _'He likes it too...'_ Gilbert thought as he heard more sounds from Ivan. He felt Ivan's fingers tighten a little into his hair.

Gilbert continued his affections to the slit and head, listening proudly to the sounds the other was making, until Ivan's hand suddenly gripped his shoulder and pushed him away. Gilbert gasped and wobbled on his knees for a moment before looking back at Ivan. He was ready to ask why he pushed him away, but then he saw that the Russian was holding his cock, his hand dripping with his cum.

Ivan panted out and looked at Gilbert, his face red. "I... I didn't want you to choke..." he explained.

Gilbert smiled and crawled over to him. He decided to do something that hopefully Ivan wouldn't think him disgusting for. He took the Russian's hand into his and brought it to his mouth, and began to lick his cum from his skin.

Ivan's face turned a darker red than ever when he saw Gilbert's pink tongue lick the white substance from him. Gilbert was just so naughty and sexy. Ivan couldn't handle it. The situation got worse when Gilbert finished with his hand, and moved back to his cock. That pointed tongue slowly licked every inch of him 'clean' and Ivan couldn't watch anymore, he had to cover his face.

Gilbert looked up at him and then grabbed Ivan's wrists, moving them away from the Russian's face. "Are you okay?"

Ivan simply nodded in reply, looking so incredibly embarrassed that Gilbert almost felt bad. "It's just... I've never seen someone so... sexy."

The albino's eyes went wide and he looked stunned.

Ivan stuttered, "I-I mean, I just... you're... so cute, and beautiful, and sexy..."

Gilbert blushed and suddenly hugged around Ivan's waist. "Thanks for doing this with me... I don't know why I feel this way, but... I just..." he didn't know what his next words were. He had no idea how to feel.

Ivan gently ruffled Gilbert's hair. "It's okay, I... understand." Gilbert looked up at him with curiosity in his eyes. "I want to touch you and feel you too, and I'm not sure if it's because you saved me, or because you've done so much, or if I'm just attracted to you..."

Gilbert smiled a little. "It doesn't matter. We like each other, so that's enough, right?"

Ivan's expression turned sad. "I suppose it is..."

Gilbert sat up a little more. "What's wrong? I can tell there's something wrong."

Ivan hesitated for a moment. "... It's just... it feels weird. Is it really okay for us to ... after such little time?"

Gilbert sunk down a little, a feeling of shame coming onto him. "I guess not... but, if we both want it, I don't see why we can't - people do it all the time..."

"I guess... if you're 100% sure it's what you want. I don't want to hurt you, or make you feel used."

Gilbert smiled. He couldn't believe Ivan still thought that way. "I was begging for you to touch me, remember? I'm fine. I don't know why I feel like this but I know that I want you, I don't care why. As long as you're okay too."

The Russian nodded. "I'm okay, Gilbert." He ruffled the albino's hair and smiled. "You look tired."

"I am."

Ivan moved his hands down and fixed his pants. "Come up here and sleep then."

Gilbert nodded once and then stood up. He stayed still for a moment when he noticed Ivan looking. Ivan adored Gilbert's body, he was so beautiful. Gilbert began to feel a little strange under Ivan's gaze. He was blushing and giving Ivan a look like he was asking what the Russian was going to do.

"You said you wanted to try something... I never understood what you really meant by that..." Ivan inquired.

Gilbert looked away in embarrassment. "I, um... wanted to see if I'd let you touch me, and if you would touch me. Just to see if that's what I really wanted, not just some fantasy..." he explained.

"And...?"

"... I do want it." he looked at Ivan, his eyes practically crying out for him. "Will you keep touching me? Whenever we're in that mood?"

Ivan blushed darkly, but nodded. "Y-Yeah... and... and will you touch me too?"

Gilbert smiled and kneeled on the couch next to Ivan, he leaned onto his shoulder. "Of course." He answered. He closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them a sliver. "Hey... do you want to go sleep in my room? If we do this stuff together, I don't see why we can't sleep in the same bed."

Ivan flushed softly and nodded. Gilbert took his hand and led him to his room.

* * *

Thanks for reading, friend.  
If you liked this, please leave a kudos and/or a comment. Thank you.


	3. Part 3

Part 3 of 'Icebreaker'.

.

****Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, nor am I making any money off of this or any of my other writings.**

****Warnings: Hard-core yaoi, fluff, smut, oral sex, anal sex, angst.**

* * *

Gilbert shut the door once Ivan was inside. He went passed him and then hopped up onto his bed. He was smiling at Ivan.

The Russian blushed softly. "Um... are you going to get dressed?"

"Hmm... nope~" Gilbert grinned toothily. "I like that you can't stop looking at me." Ivan's face burned hotter and he looked away. Gilbert chuckled and then crawled up his bed. He removed something from each of his eyes and then lied down. He turned onto his side and curled his legs up a little.

Ivan glanced back to the other, and felt his heart jump. Right there on the bed was this beautiful boy, curled up, giving Ivan a _wonderful_ view of his rear. Ivan could feel himself getting aroused again already just from looking. His eyes fell onto that puckered little hole. _'I wonder what he feels like inside...'_ Ivan thought, pulling his scarf up to cover his cheeks.

"Hey Ivan?" Gilbert spoke and Ivan snapped his eyes to him as if he had been caught. Gilbert was still on his side, his back to Ivan. "Have you remembered anything else yet?"

Ivan narrowed his eyes and looked down. "No..." he felt like he was on the verge of remembering something but he didn't know what. He hated not having his memories. He looked back at Gilbert. _'He's helped me so much...'_ he walked over to the bed and crawled up. The shifting of the mattress caused Gilbert to roll over onto his back to see the other, but Ivan immediately plopped his larger body on top of Gilbert's.

"I-Ivan?" Gilbert stuttered, coughing a little from impact.

"Thank you." Ivan muttered. He wrapped one arm tightly around Gilbert's lower back. "Thank you for making me feel safe and loved, even though it's just lust."

Gilbert's eyes widened. _'He thinks it's just lust...?'_ He was quiet for a moment and then gently ran a hand through Ivan's hair. "It's not all lust, Ivan..." the Russian looked up to him. "I do like you, but it is mostly physical... but, is that a problem?"

Ivan stared for a moment, thinking. If he had a problem with it, he wouldn't have done anything in the first place. He liked Gilbert a lot and wanted to hug and kiss him all over. He was very attracted to him, but even so... he began to feel something else inside... affection? Love? No, definitely not love... just a little affection grown from an infatuation.

"It's not a problem..." he finally said and then laid his head into Gilbert's shoulder, letting his head rest partly on the albino's chest. He hugged around Gilbert possessively and squeezed his eyes shut. He still had that feeling of trying to remember something; it was on the tip of his tongue...

Gilbert turned toward him and held around him, holding him like he did before on the couch. Part of him couldn't believe that it was only this morning that it happened. He felt like Ivan had been here for so much longer. He nuzzled his nose into Ivan's hair and kissed softly.

"I... I think I came here to see someone. Or something." Ivan mumbled.

The statement caught Gilbert off guard, but he looked down at Ivan's head. "Do you have family in Germany?"

Ivan pondered for a second. "I'm not sure. I don't remember my family either..."

Gilbert kissed his forehead. "It'll come back to you soon, don't worry."

The Russian narrowed his violet eyes onto Gilbert's bear chest. He felt incredibly sad. _'Will I have to leave when I remember...?'_ he thought. He nuzzled close to the albino who was coddling him like a child. _'Of course I will...'_

Gilbert felt a tightening in his throat and a horrible feeling in his gut that made him want to vomit. _'This is bad... I'm getting too attached to him.'_ He rubbed a few strands of ash-blond hair between his fingers. _'How could I let myself do this? I'm such an idiot.'_ He sighed and shifted his body a little toward Ivan, and soon fell asleep. Even if he knew how much of an idiot he was, he knew it wasn't going to change anything. He wanted Ivan, and even if this ended painfully, he's take a much of him as he could get.

.

_Ivan panted hard and heavily, just like the man moaning loudly on top of him. His hands gripped at pale narrow hips and he yanked the smaller body further down onto his cock. The heat squeezed around him and the albino screamed out in pleasure as he reached his climax, splattering his cum onto their sweaty bodies. Ivan was still hard and throbbing inside of Gilbert's tight body, but the albino leaned against him in exhaustion. The Russian thrust up subtly, begging Gilbert to start moving. He knew it would hurt since Gilbert already came, but Ivan's mind was hazed and he didn't care. Gilbert whined as he lifted his body up some, feeling the Russian's cock slip out of him with ease, and then pushed back down. His prostate was hit and sent pain through him, but he kept going for Ivan's sake, lifting and thrusting back down, grunting and biting his lip in pain. He clenched himself around Ivan as he rode him, hoping to cause more pleasure. The Russian groaned loudly and his hands went to Gilbert's ass. Ivan started to lift the albino's body for him, thrusting his own hips to slam into the smaller male with more force. Gilbert cried out again, "I-Ivan!" his mouth hung open, saliva dripped from his lips. Gilbert's heat tightened more and suddenly-_

Ivan's eyes shot open wide to see nothing but a dark room and the pale glow of the moon outside. He felt hot and sweaty, his heart was racing fast and he felt a weird pressure in his lower body.

He looked down and became appalled when he noticed he had an erection. He quickly glanced beside him where he saw Gilbert with his limbs sprawled out, sound asleep. Ivan studied his face, watching his mouth open and close slightly as he breathed, and suddenly Ivan's face flushed red and he felt himself grow harder. He remembered his dream fully. They were... having sex. Gilbert was riding him, crying out for him, making him feel fantastic and-

Ivan put a hand over his mouth and quietly moved to the end of the bed where he sat staring at the ground. _'Why did I dream that?'_ he asked himself, biting his lip. _'Gilbert looked so cute on me... I want to know, how he feels inside...'_ he looked over his shoulder at the albino. Letting his eyes travel that beautiful white body again.

He quickly looked away and buried his face into his hands. He was so ashamed to be thinking like this again. Thinking it, having a dirty dream, wanting to know what it was like with Gilbert... _'I'm a terrible person...'_

Minutes passed and Ivan's little problem went away for the most part, but the thoughts of that dream didn't. He couldn't erase it from his mind. That expression of pure pleasure on Gilbert's face, crying out for Ivan. He wanted to see that in person, to actually _feel_ it.

Ivan was too busy yelling at himself mentally to notice that Gilbert had woken up. The albino rubbed at his eye. He felt that Ivan wasn't next to him. He sat up and found him at the foot of his bed, hunched over and looking down.

Gilbert tilted his head a little. "Ivan?" he called out to him as he turned on the lamp next to his bed, it filled the room with a soft white light.

The light and sound of Gilbert's voice startled him and he twitched, looking behind him "G-Gilbert?" he stuttered, blushing from seeing Gilbert's body more clearly, "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"I'm not sure." Gilbert yawned widely. "Are you all right? You sound a little shaken up." He crawled down the bed toward Ivan.

Ivan turned his head away, blushing furiously. He squeezed his legs shut, regardless of if it helped or not. "I... I had a dream." He spoke, though he wasn't sure why he was even remotely telling Gilbert about this. Deep down, there was an unknown hope that maybe if he told Gilbert, the albino would make his dream reality.

"A bad dream?" Gilbert was ready to comfort him if so.

"N-No... a good dream..."

Gilbert tilted his head and leaned forward to get a better look at Ivan. He noticed the intense blush on the Russian's cheeks. He grinned a little. "Was it a dirty dream?" he teased.

Ivan shifted his body to turn away from the albino more.

_'It was.'_ Gilbert grinned more. He moved up behind the other male, placing his knees and thighs around Ivan's backside and then wrapped his arms around his waist, rubbing at his belly a little. "Why don't you tell me what happened...?" he inquired coyly, slipping his hand down a little. Gilbert felt Ivan take in a breath at his touch.

Ivan's body burned hotter. Not only was Gilbert stroking his groin through his pants, but he could feel the albino's limp cock pressing into his back. He couldn't help his body from reacting.

Gilbert gave a soft chuckle. "You're getting hard... it must have been a really good dream." Gilbert blushed a little bit. He was almost certain that any naughty dreams that Ivan would have would include him.

Ivan bit his lip, he felt his will weakening. "You were... on my lap again..." Ivan started. "But... you were... riding me." He didn't know why he told him.

Gilbert felt his groin tighten at Ivan's words. He moved his hand down more and gently began to rub where Ivan's cock was. "Do you want me to...?"

Ivan's body answered for him and he thrust up subtly against the albino's hand. Gilbert smiled at how honest the Russian's body was. "But- but you're... a virgin; I don't want to take that from you..." Ivan spoke between pants.

Gilbert leaned over Ivan's shoulder and kissed his cheek. "If I give it to you, then you're not taking it, is that right?" he asked.

Ivan looked over at Gilbert through the corner of his eyes. "How can you say that? How can you just do that with me? We barely know each other..."

"People do it all the time. People meet, have a connection. There's a heat between us, right?" he looked almost frightened that there wasn't.

Ivan noticed that fear, and he gave a nod.

"I don't have anyone else and I'm too nervous to go out and meet someone, and anyone who wants to do things with me probably will hurt me, but you're nice... I trust you." Gilbert buried his face into Ivan's neck, "I'm deprived, and I want to be touched." He admitted.

Ivan felt bad for Gilbert for feeling this way. He was about to respond, but he suddenly shivered violently when Gilbert slipped his hand into his pants. "The only problem is if you don't want to do it." Gilbert said. "Do you not want to?"

Ivan shook his head. "I want to; I was just-" he gasped a little when Gilbert gripped around the head of his cock, "just, worried about you."

Gilbert kissed Ivan's cheek again. "Don't be, I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself." He smiled and kissed down Ivan's jaw.

"B-But we don't have a condom, or- ah-!" Gilbert's fingertip poked at his slit, "L-Lube..."

"We'll just improvise then." Gilbert stated simply.

Ivan couldn't believe what Gilbert just said. He pulled away from Gilbert and stood up. "Do you realize how much this is going to hurt you?"

Gilbert huffed. "It's just for a little bit, right? Once my body adjusts to you I'll be fine." He tapped his fingers together, noticing some of Ivan's pre-cum on them. He then gave his fingers a lazy lick.

Ivan blushed and grabbed Gilbert's wrist to make him stop. "I don't want you to bleed or be in pain at all."

"Then we'll spend a lot of time stretching me." Gilbert spoke with ease in his voice, like he wasn't worried at all. "I may have some sort of lotion in the bathroom that might work too."

Ivan sighed, "Go get it."

Gilbert beamed happily and hopped off the bed. Without saying anything he ran off to the bathroom and began looking in the cabinet under the sink for the lotion. His eyes soon landed on the small bottle and he grabbed it.

Ivan waited on the bed alone. He couldn't believe that he was getting ready to have sex with Gilbert. It didn't seem possible. He wondered how Gilbert was more carefree about this than he was. This was Gilbert's first time after all, Ivan had done it before, so how was the albino so accepting of it?

Gilbert came back into the room and shut the door again. He examined the bottle as he went to stand in front of Ivan. "I think this will work. I don't think it has anything that'll burn in it."

"Now you're worried about pain?" Ivan looked concerned.

Gilbert threw the little bottle on the mattress. "I'll be fine, Ivan, I promise." He smiled genuinely. "Now strip. I want you naked too." He grinned playfully.

Ivan blushed a little at how impish Gilbert looked and stood up. "Are you going to remove your shirt?" Ivan asked as he removed his sweater and let it fall on the ground.

Gilbert's cheeks lit up warmly. Of course Ivan was bigger than him, but he had a decent amount of muscle. He guessed that Ivan traveled a lot, or had a lot of jobs doing labor. "Maybe - if you take it off of me." Gilbert smiled and went over to the bed as Ivan finished undressing.

Ivan slowly undid his pants, feeling anxious but nervous. He wanted this badly, but he didn't want to hurt Gilbert. He slid his pants down his legs and stepped out of them. He heard a _snap_ from behind him and he turned.

The sight he saw made his face burn and his groin tighten. Gilbert, the sexy little imp that he is, was sitting on the bed, his long thin legs spread apart. He had the bottle of lotion in one hand and his other was covered in the white substance, a finger prodded gently at his entrance. The shy, nervous look on the albino's face made it that much sexier, and Ivan felt his cock twitch from just looking at him.

Gilbert gasped softly as he pushed the tip of his middle finger inside. He began to wiggle it a little, gradually pushing it deeper. The albino kept his focus on what he was doing, completely ignoring Ivan, who was watching him like a hawk.

The Russian swallowed a lump in his throat. _'This is bad. I want him so bad...'_ he bit his lip.

Gilbert breathed out and then finally looked up at Ivan, catching him red-handed and red-faced. He grinned mischievously. "You like watching me do this?" he panted softly.

Ivan blushed more. "It's... sexy..." he admitted. It was _extremely_ sexy and arousing.

"I see..." Gilbert slipped his index finger inside. He grunted a little and thrust his fingers in and out slowly until he was comfortable. He began to scissor and splay them, stretching his taut inner muscles. He knew he was putting on a wonderful show for Ivan as he fingered himself; honestly, this was all making Gilbert rather horny as well. He pulled his fingers out and moved the bottle of lotion over his hand again, but he stopped before he poured it. He glanced up to Ivan with that same grin from before.

"Hey Ivan." He spoke with a light singsong tone. "Do you... want to do it for me?" he asked with a tilt of his head.

So much blood was rushing to Ivan's face and cheeks that it made him dizzy, but he wasn't about to turn down such a wonderful offer. He stepped toward Gilbert and the albino handed him the little bottle. Ivan poured some of the liquid onto his hands, and then looked back to Gilbert. He stepped closer.

Gilbert smiled and suddenly moved. He turned on his knees and faced away from Ivan. He leaned into a doggy position and spread his legs for Ivan, giving him the best view and approach that the Russian could have asked for. He glanced over his shoulder at Ivan to see his expression, and he almost laughed. Ivan looked so stunned, so aroused. Gilbert turned his head back around and lowered his upper body to the mattress; he moved his legs closer to himself so his rear lifted up more.

Ivan's body shuddered and it felt like lava was flowing in his veins. Gilbert was just like the embodiment of all of his dirty thoughts, and he had a few, but Gilbert gave him everything and looked so comfortable doing it. Ivan was more nervous than Gilbert was. The Russian moved closer and placed a hand on one of the lovely white lumps in front of him. He gently groped it, making Gilbert moan softly. He liked that sound and wanted to hear it again, but first, he wanted to look.

His eyes went to Gilbert's tight hole. _'How am I going to fit in there... he's so small...'_ Ivan thought, blushing madly. There was lotion dripping down the back of Gilbert's thighs from his entrance, and Ivan's eyes followed it. It never occurred to him that it would be alluring, but something about it made him want to see more of it. Maybe he himself would be dripping from Gilbert soon. That thought made him shiver and burn with excitement.

Ivan took his lotion-covered finger and prodded it at Gilbert's entrance, and he pushed one cheek away a little to make more room. He felt Gilbert twitch at the touch, probably from the cold lotion or maybe he just wasn't used to someone else touching this area. Maybe both. Ivan wiggled his finger against him until the tip pressed into the albino.

He took a breath, _'He's still so tight...'_ he pressed his finger in deeper, feeling the albino clench around him a little. That tightness would feel wonderful for Ivan, not so much for Gilbert, not at first anyway.

Gilbert grunted quietly, shifting his body a little. It felt strange to have another person inside of his body. All he felt was what his body was feeling, not what Ivan was, and feeling both sides of that took a lot of the pleasure away when doing this himself, but this... this felt nice.

After wiggling his finger around for a bit more, Ivan slipped another one in and wasted no time in scissoring them. One finger brushed against Gilbert's prostate, and the albino jolted forward a little, gasping out. Feeling a bit mean, Ivan teased that spot a few more times, loving Gilbert's reaction of writhing, clenching around his fingers, and whining.

Ivan added a third finger, but froze when Gilbert grunted louder. "Are you all right?" he asked with worry.

"I'm fine." Gilbert panted, burying his face into the mattress below him. "Just- Just keep going..."

Ivan didn't like the tone in Gilbert's voice. It was clear that the albino was starting to feel some pain now. Ivan just hoped that Gilbert wouldn't back out now. Ivan did as Gilbert wanted and slowly began to splay his three fingers out inside of him, stretching him as much as he could. He knew that this was going to hurt Gilbert so he wanted to make sure he was good and prepared. However, watching his fingers stretch the tiny hole open made him hot with lust and he wanted to be inside. He stretched quicker and in different directions until Gilbert's muscles let him move freely. He was still really tight, but at least it would be easier to penetrate him now. Ivan pulled his fingers out with a _pop_ and Gilbert sighed, almost like he was relieved.

"Am I ready?" Gilbert asked, looking behind him.

"As ready as I can get you with my fingers..." he answered.

Gilbert lifted himself up and turned around to face Ivan. He reached out and grabbed the Russian's boxers, and then tugged them down. Before Ivan could say anything, Gilbert placed a kiss to the tip of his erection and licked it a few times. Ivan was stunned and embarrassed by the albino's actions, but he enjoyed the few sweet kisses and licks and rubbed his hand into Gilbert's hair. Gilbert stopped his ministrations and stood up; he circled around Ivan and pushed him to sit on the bed. Ivan watched him curiously, anticipation building in every part of his body. Gilbert grabbed the bottle of lotion and poured more onto his hand, and then began to coat Ivan's erection with it. Ivan hissed from the cold and twitched.

"Sorry." Gilbert apologized. "I know I sounded hasty earlier, but I don't want this to hurt as much as you don't." Ivan smiled. He liked that Gilbert was thinking a bit more clearly now, and that he needed to take every precaution he could to make it as painless as possible for him.

Gilbert wrapped his hand around Ivan's cock and began to smear the lotion on his skin until it shone. "All right..." Gilbert breathed out and threw the bottle of lotion aside. He gripped onto Ivan's shoulders and pressed one knee into the mattress, lifting himself to straddle Ivan.

As soon as Gilbert sat onto his lap, Ivan shuddered. It felt strange to touch Gilbert's bare skin against his like this, but he really liked the feeling of it. He wanted to hold him close, but something entered his mind that started to worry him.

Gilbert rocked his hips, letting their erections rub together. They both moaned softly toward each other. It already felt hot and sticky between them. Gilbert brought a hand down, wrapped his fingers around Ivan's cock, and moved his body up so he was directly above Ivan's erection. He slowly rocked his hips again, letting the tip graze his entrance. He let out a gasp and blushed darkly. Was he really about to have sex with this man? This stranger who he's known for less than a day?

He thought so, and he was 100% all right with it, until Ivan suddenly gripped his arms and pushed him back. "Wait, Gilbert stop."

This infuriated Gilbert. "What!? Why!?" He yelled, looking thoroughly displeased. His lust was driving him insane at this point. He was a little nervous but that fueled his desire as well. He didn't care, he _needed_ Ivan, now!

Ivan rubbed at his side as he shushed him quietly. "Calm down, we're still going to have sex." Gilbert instantly looked relieved.

"Then why'd you stop me?"

"Are you sure you want to do it this way for your first time? Riding someone can be hard on your legs, and yours are already shaking from holding yourself up."

Gilbert hadn't even realized it, but his legs were shaking. His legs started straining when he was on the bed while Ivan was preparing him. Gilbert understood Ivan's point and he stood up. "What should we do then...?"

Ivan blushed. "Well, um... if you're on all fours, I can, um... penetrate you easier..."

"But my legs will still get tired..."

Ivan should have realized that. "Then... then you can lay on your back, and I'll lift your hips up to me." Ivan suggested. "That way you can just relax and let me do the work."

Gilbert narrowed his eyes a little. "You've... done this a lot before, haven't you?"

Ivan stiffened up. "Not a lot, but it was along time ago; I don't want to talk about it."

Gilbert saw a pain in Ivan's face and he kissed the Russian's lips, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset. I just meant that you're so much more experienced than me." He smiled cutely.

"It's all right." Ivan assured him and then stood up, moving Gilbert to stand as well. He placed his hands on Gilbert's chest and moved them up to his shoulders, and then pushed the fabric of his shirt away so it fell down his arms and joined the Russian's sweater on the floor. Gilbert blushed, but didn't have time to react much. Ivan then gripped Gilbert's thin waist and lifted him a little, and threw him back on the bed. Gilbert bounced and he looked toward Ivan, who had crawled up onto the bed.

"Get comfortable, and spread your legs." Ivan spoke. His tone sounded different - darker. Gilbert guessed that the Russian was so horny that his previous shy personality was overridden by lust. That was all right though; Gilbert didn't care much for sweetness at the moment anyway.

The albino obeyed obediently once again and spread his legs widely, letting Ivan see every inch of him. As Ivan crawled toward him, he let his hands rub from his calves to his inner thighs where he left light touches, and then moved up to his waist where he groped. Ivan was between those thin legs, and it made Gilbert whimper with a mix of uncertainty and pure lust.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ivan whispered to him.

Gilbert gave a nod, smiling. "I'm just a little nervous; it is my first time..."

The Russian smiled and kissed Gilbert's temple. "I promise I'll be gentle."

Ivan lifted Gilbert by the waist and brought him close, resting the backs of Gilbert's thighs on the fronts of his, keeping him suspended there for a moment. "Can you hold yourself here for a while? Once I'm inside I'll hold you again."

Gilbert nodded and locked his back so he could keep his hips up. Ivan leaned forward, held his cock, and then lightly pressed the head against Gilbert's hole. He shivered at the feeling, reveling in it for a moment. Ivan looked to Gilbert to make sure he was all right still. With no signs of protest, Ivan pushed against Gilbert's entrance, and felt himself gradually ease inside. He swallowed roughly, and Gilbert whined softly as he felt himself stretch over Ivan. The Russian rubbed at the albino's side to comfort him, to let him know that it's all right and that what he's feeling is normal. Ivan then panted out when his tip slipped fully inside. He shuddered, nearly cursing out loud. Gilbert was so tight, hot, and wet, and he wanted that surrounding all of him, but he had to control himself.

Gilbert himself was shaking, though mostly because his legs were getting tired.

"You can relax now, Gilbert." Ivan held onto the German's hips. "I'm inside, only a little, but I'm in..." saying it out loud made him blush, but it was 100% true. He was inside of Gilbert, and he could feel every little twitch of the muscles surrounding the tip of his cock. The albino nodded weakly and let his body relax against the bed. The fact that he had Ivan inside of him thrilled him. Even though he was barely in, it made Gilbert happy. He couldn't wait for it to get better.

"How does it feel?" Ivan asked him.

Gilbert shifted his body a little. "About the same as 3 fingers..." he answered. "It doesn't hurt." He sounded worried.

"It will, but like you said, only for a little while." He kissed one of Gilbert's kneecaps that bent near his shoulder. "Are you ready for me to go further?" he received a nod. The Russian lifted Gilbert's hips so he could easily rock into him, and slowly pressed in deeper. He inhaled as he went in, but watched Gilbert intently. Everything seemed to be going okay, until Ivan was about a quarter of the way in. That's when Gilbert's breathing hitched and he made a distressed sound that made Ivan stop in his tracks. Gilbert's body was now stretching passed the 3 finger limit and he could feel his inner muscles trying to push Ivan out.

"Gilbert, you're clenching." Ivan breathed out, feeling lust threaten his self-control to just slam into that tightness. "Try to relax..." he spoke softly.

The albino took to taking deep breaths, trying to get his body to relax and let Ivan in. He knew he was all right, he just needed to get used to it, and if Ivan didn't go in further, he'd never get used to it. Ivan soon felt Gilbert's inner walls loosen a little, and he pushed in a little more. The more he pushed in, the more Gilbert writhed, digging his nails into the blankets at his sides. Ivan jerked forward and pushed half way in, and that's when Gilbert's eyes shot open with a cry.

"No- no! Ivan stop! It hurts!" Gilbert tried to lean up but the movement only made him hurt more. He felt his eyes stinging and he became scared. It hurt badly, and Ivan wasn't even fully inside.

"Gilbert please calm down," he pulled out some. "I promise it'll feel good soon, you just have to bear it." He tried to calm him. Gilbert's outburst caused him to tense around Ivan's cock tightly and was now causing him pain as well.

"No! I don't want to! It hurts!" Gilbert began to thrash around, bringing more pain to both of them.

Ivan's eyes went wide when Gilbert said that he didn't want to do it, and he pulled out completely, and Gilbert covered his face to hide. Ivan felt utterly terrible at the sight, and gently began to rub Gilbert's sides. He was sure that Gilbert wanted this, and that he just needed to bear the initial pain of entry, but it was different now that Gilbert actually said he didn't want it.

"Gilbert?" Ivan asked, hoping to calm the other down.

Gilbert gritted his teeth. He hated this. He wanted to do this so badly! The pain frightened him though, but it wasn't like he wasn't ready for sex or didn't want it, or that Ivan was hurting him on purpose. He was fine. He just needed to bear it, like Ivan had told him before. He wanted to feel Ivan pound into him, and if he had to deal with the pain, then he'd deal with it.

"Try again..." the albino finally mumbled after a few dozen seconds.

"What?" the Russian looked confused.

Gilbert spread his legs more and brought his hands down, he gently pulled at the skin around his hole with his fingers, opening himself up a little, and Ivan blushed at the sight. "I want to try again! I want to have sex with you!" Gilbert cried out to him. He was desperate, and definitely looked the part.

Ivan gave a shy nod and moved back into position. He moved Gilbert's hands from his rear and put them at his sides, and then lifted the albino's waist again. He pressed back into Gilbert's heat slowly, and then stopped at the point where Gilbert started to hurt before. Gilbert brought his legs as high as he could, giving Ivan more room to move into him. The Russian began to pull out and push back in over and over as a way of coaxing the muscles around him to loosen. He was able to go a few centimeters deeper with Gilbert only whining softly with slight pain.

"There, you're doing fine." Ivan told him as he moved deeper with each thrust. Gilbert felt fantastic around him, he always had. Gilbert whimpered with each thrust, Ivan slipped deeper, and Ivan felt Gilbert swallowing more of him up. He was nearly completely inside now, but Gilbert's face began to show signs of pain, most notably his eyes tearing up.

_'He needs to get used to it. I'm sorry, Gilbert...'_ Ivan thought and closed his eyes for a moment to take a breath. He thrust a few more times, listening to Gilbert's pained whimpers. He was nearly there, so he stood on his knees, lifted Gilbert's hips a little more, and with a solid thrust forward, he buried himself entirely inside the albino's body.

Gilbert let out a pained shriek that made Ivan feel like he was abusing him. The shriek was followed by a series of whines and grunts as small tears dripped down the sides of his face. His muscles screamed and clenched around Ivan, trying desperately to push the Russian out. Ivan was large, and thick too. Gilbert felt so full, like his insides were ready to burst and like he was being split; he didn't know how it was possible to have something so big inside of him. It was a strange and painful feeling, but he knew that this would feel good once his virgin body opened up for Ivan.

Ivan, however, was unaware of how determined Gilbert was, and he felt terrible when he saw the tears on Gilbert's face. He was crying, legitimately crying in pain. The Russian leaned down over Gilbert's body and kissed his forehead, and then his cheek, his lips, jaw, neck, chest. Everywhere. Showering him in loving kisses to hopefully calm him.

"I'm in." Ivan said and then pulled out some, and pushed back in with a grunt. "I'm inside." _Thrust_. "I'm all the way inside." Another thrust. "Gilbert..." a longer thrust buried him to the hilt again. He shuddered with a moan at how utterly fantastic Gilbert felt clenching and throbbing around him, trying desperately to push him out. _'He's so hot and tight...'_ He closed his eyes, blushing darkly. _'He feels so good...'_ and he wanted to make Gilbert feel good too.

Gilbert's face burned, hearing Ivan speak those words while he thrust into him nearly made him moan. He whimpered with each thrust, noticing that Ivan was pulling out more with each one so he could dive back in slowly, but then Ivan stopped and seemed to be thinking.

"Ivan...?" Gilbert called out to him with a raspy tone.

Ivan realized that he had gotten caught up in the feeling of being inside, and he didn't even ask how Gilbert felt. The Russian opened his eyes. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Not really, but-" Gilbert grunted softly. "keep going..." he subtly thrust toward Ivan.

Ivan blushed darkly. He did as Gilbert wanted and began to pull out and thrust in increasingly longer strides. He heard Gilbert grunting in pain, his muscles still fighting him, but he kept moving as the albino wanted him to. He held Gilbert's hips as he rocked into him with a slow pace, letting Gilbert's body adjust and get used to him. After some time, they could both feel Gilbert's muscles giving way for Ivan's cock, letting him slip in and out easier. The albino's grunting stopped and he began to whimper, but it was a different type of whimper - the type that he makes before he moans in pleasure. The pain was melting away and was soon replaced with something that felt much better.

"I-Ivan..." the breathy moan escaped Gilbert's lips, and Ivan froze completely when he heard his voice. The albino's tone was beyond sexy, and hearing his name on those lips made his cock twitch inside of him. Gilbert's mouth hung open and his eyes were half-lidded, still watering some. There was a layer of sweat covering every inch of Gilbert's white body, his hair sticking to his forehead. Ivan didn't think it was possible, but he felt himself grow harder inside of the still tight body.

The albino shifted his body and thrust his own hips toward Ivan again. "Move... keep, moving..." the desperate, needy demand came, and Ivan had no problem obeying. The Russian picked up a little bit of speed as he started thrusting again and _oh_ - it felt _so_ good now that Gilbert's insides were just tight enough around him, and he couldn't help the little groans in his throat. His dream was nothing compared to this. He was almost tapping into an animalistic lust where he just wanted deeper and deeper and pound harder and harder. Gilbert let out moans and grunts as well. His voice whined and strained in his throat, and he forced himself to swallow his sounds.

Gilbert wanted to see, he wanted to see Ivan moving in and out of him as he felt it. He leaned forward, pulling on his legs to bring them closer to his chest. He tried looking over his body, but he couldn't see far enough. Ivan thought it was adorably naughty what the albino was trying to do. Since Gilbert's legs were right there by him, he decided to try something. He pushed into Gilbert completely and put his arms under the bend in Gilbert's legs. He pushed his hands into the bed, locking the albino's legs closer to him. This way, Ivan could thrust himself down at a different angle and go even deeper inside, and Gilbert was his to pound into mercilessly, and that's exactly what he did.

The new angle caused Ivan to thrust right into that special little bundle of nerves inside Gilbert's body. Gilbert immediately cried out louder than ever and clenched almost painfully around the cock inside of him. Ivan moaned loudly and then panted out, catching his breath after feeling the wave of pleasure he felt. He gave Gilbert a smile. "It's going to feel really good now." Ivan slowly pulled out so that just the head was inside, and then pushed back in roughly. He began to thrust quickly, hitting Gilbert's prostate on the way in and out each time.

Gilbert threw his head back and cried out in pleasure, and Ivan grunted whenever Gilbert's body tightened. The albino's body twitched and he grabbed onto Ivan's arms as a way of supporting himself. It was more out of a need to cling to something; he didn't know how to handle this pleasure or what to do. The sounds from Gilbert made Ivan thrust even faster and harder, and the sounds only got louder from there. Ivan grunted and lifted one of Gilbert's legs so it bent over his shoulder. He brought the albino's hips off of the bed and slammed into him even deeper. One of his hands found Gilbert's cock and began to pump him as he thrust deep inside. Gilbert cried out in surprise and pleasure. He had no idea sex would feel this good. With Ivan hitting that spot inside of him and his hand stroking his throbbing erection, Gilbert was in absolute bliss. He never wanted it to stop. He could tell that he was making Ivan feel good as well. Just by how flushed his skin was, the deep grunts and moans he was making next to his ear, and how roughly he was pounding into him. It was like he was losing his control.

After slamming into the albino countless times, Ivan shuddered. "Gil-!" his voice cut off into a soft cry, reaching his climax and spilling deep inside of Gilbert. He breathed out, letting his body go limp for a moment and rest on top of Gilbert's.

Gilbert didn't feel anything except for a need to be touched, Ivan's weight crushing down on his erection hurt. When Ivan began to give shallow quick thrusts, Gilbert felt something warm on his insides and dripping out of him. Ivan continued to stroke Gilbert for a few moments while regaining some energy. Despite being limp, he still gave weak thrusts. Wet squishing sounds filled the air. When Gilbert thought about how the sounds were from Ivan's cum inside, he flushed darker in embarrassment. It was so lewd.

Having Gilbert still tight around him and feeling his cum coating the albino's insides felt heavenly for Ivan. It was so warm and wet. Ivan didn't want to leave him; he wanted to stay buried there for as long as he could. However, he knew that the albino must be aching for release. Ivan sped up his thrusts and made Gilbert moan out more. He squeezed the German's swollen cock a little, and then began to pump Gilbert's erection quickly and roughly.

Gilbert writhed and cried out. He felt his lower body tense up and suddenly there was pressure, his back arched and his head dug into the pillow behind him. His hot seed splattered onto Ivan's stomach, and then the feeling faded. He panted out, falling flat against the bed limply, his chest and belly both rising and falling from his heavy breaths.

Ivan didn't want to pull out of Gilbert's heat, but he did so slowly. He groaned when he was out, feeling like something was missing from him. He wanted to go back in, but he resisted the urge to thrust back inside and stay there, and then lied beside him.

Ivan gently stroked some of Gilbert's sweat-soaked hair from his damp forehead. "How do you feel?"

"Good." Gilbert panted. "Really good. And kind of tingly." He giggled softly.

Ivan smiled nervously. "That'll go away soon. You'll feel pain again once the pleasure fades."

Gilbert whined in disapproval and turned onto his side, facing Ivan. "I was hoping the pain was done..."

"I know, I'm sorry," Ivan kissed Gilbert's forehead. "but now it'll be easier next time."

Gilbert perked up a little. "Next time?" he sounded confused but hopeful. Was Ivan planning on staying with him?

Ivan flushed. "Ah, wait, I mean... for whenever you have sex again." He gave a tense chuckle. He didn't want Gilbert thinking that he was using him for sex or something.

"Oh..." _'I knew it; he's not going to stay...'_ Gilbert felt an unsettling feeling in his stomach. He wasn't sure if it was guilt or fear. Maybe a bit of both.

"You should rest, you look exhausted..." Ivan kissed Gilbert's forehead again and pulled the blanket up around him.

Gilbert instantly snuggled into the warm blanket. He felt guilt rising up inside of him, and it made his chest ache terribly. He also felt pain in his lower back beginning to settle in.

_'What have I done...'_ Gilbert narrowed his eyes, feeling small tears pricking at them. He felt like such a fool.

* * *

Thanks for reading, friend.  
If you liked this, please leave a favorite and/or a review. Thank you.


	4. Part 4

Final part of 'Icebreaker'.

.

****Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, nor am I making any money off of this or any of my other writings.**

****Warnings: Masturbation, sexual themes, angst, heartache, language.**

* * *

Morning came quicker than Gilbert wanted it too, but he just couldn't sleep any longer. It was about 11am, and Ivan was still sound asleep next to him. The Russian looked so cute and peaceful, and that made Gilbert hate this entire situation even more. He carefully started to move to get out of bed, feeling his legs strain and lower back aching painfully. He knew that it would hurt afterward once his muscles rested, but he had no idea that it would hurt this badly. As he stood up, he felt something warm trickle down the back of his leg. His face flushed red when he realized that it was Ivan's cum that was still inside of him, now dripping out.

He quickly went to the bathroom. He tried to clench himself tight so no more would drip out, which was painful since that entire area was in pain. He closed and locked the door and ripped some toilet paper from the roll, and wiped at his leg. He held the paper against his entrance, blushing brightly in embarrassment as he turned the shower on. It was so humiliating to have to do this. He was just glad that no one could see him.

Once the shower was steamy and warm, he stepped in and let the water beat down on his back. It felt absolutely fantastic for his sore body; the heat dulled the aching a lot. He stood there for a few minutes, just reveling in the warmth, but soon his mind began to wander. At first it was dirtier thoughts of last night, how good Ivan made him feel, and how much fun it was as well. He blushed, his eyebrows pulled together and he frowned ever-so-slightly. He had heard that sex with someone you know well and love is better than sex with a stranger, but he wasn't so sure about that. Ivan made him feel fantastic last night, and not just at the sex part. Ivan kissed him and held him, told him comforting things, and made him feel safe. Then again... he's never been in love, so he didn't know how sex felt when in love with the person you're doing it with.

_'Could I actually fall in love with him?'_ he wondered. There was a good chance that he could. The physical attraction was there, and he did like Ivan's personality. Ivan was sweet and cute and kind, but had a bit of a darker side that made Gilbert's toes curl and heart flutter.

There wasn't a point in thinking like this now. Ivan was remembering more and more as the day went on yesterday. He remembered more last night, and when he remembers what he came to Germany for, he'll leave to go do that thing. His time with Gilbert will be a thing of the past. _'He wouldn't stay even if I asked...'_ he knew this to be true, but it hurt. Gilbert felt so ashamed, guilty, and pathetic. He couldn't believe he let Ivan's sweet personality and body drive him to a point of losing his virginity to him.

_'No. No, I gave it to him...'_ he made himself remember. Gilbert started it. He gave Ivan permission to kiss him, and later asked about the dream he had, and then pursued sex and begged for it like an animal in heat. He shook the thoughts from his head and began to wash himself. Rubbing his body free of dried sweat and other body fluids. Something reminded him of how he needed to clean out his backside, and he flushed darkly. He spread his legs a little and looked down. He felt something dripping down his skin but he wasn't sure if it was water or Ivan's cum.

After sulking for a minute and dreading every second of this, he brought one of his hands behind him and gently prodded at his entrance. The muscle felt raw and he could definitely tell that something had been inside. The area was very sensitive, and he blushed darker as he poked a finger inside. As he wiggled his finger around, his legs started to shake and he felt himself becoming a bit aroused. He couldn't believe himself; Ivan brought out this horny monster in him and now just the slightest touch made him hot.

Thin legs shook more and after a while, he couldn't hold himself up any longer. Gilbert sat on the floor of the bathtub and leaned against the wall. He spread his legs and let the water from the shower splash down on his stomach and semi-erection. He bit his lip in embarrassment, pushed his finger inside of himself, added a second one to stretch, and let the liquid inside drip out. The water washed the substance away, but before he knew it, his erection was sticking up and throbbing for some attention.

_'I'm disgusting. What is wrong with me...'_

Even with these thoughts, he gripped around his cock and began to pump himself as he dug his fingers deeper inside to find his prostate. All of his thoughts went to Ivan and that made him jerk himself faster. He moaned and writhed on the floor of the bathtub until he climaxed. He held his hand around the head of his cock to keep his cum from splattering, and then let the water from the shower wash away the evidence.

He stood up, his legs shaking, and stepped out of the shower after shutting the water off. He wrapped a towel around his waist and patted himself dry, he tumble dried his hair and made sure his skin was free of water. Gilbert stayed still for a while, staring at his body in a nearby mirror. He touched at his pale neck and collarbones. _'He didn't leave any marks... good.'_ He thought. It would be better to forget everything that happened since he woke up yesterday.

There was a small basket of clothing on the floor, and Gilbert picked out fresh underwear, a baggy T-shirt, and sweatpants. He took a deep breath, and then left the bathroom, heading back to his room.

.

Ivan was sitting up in Gilbert's bed, thinking and trying to remember if what he was thinking actually happened or not. He instantly felt relieved when the albino came into the room.

"Gilbert!" he called out, smiling in relief. Gilbert gave him a confused look. "I was worried when you weren't here when I woke up... I thought everything might have been a dream..."

Gilbert gave a mocking smile, forced, of course. "That's what it started as." He teased with some sass, but saying it pained him.

Ivan blushed a little and rubbed his neck. He still couldn't believe it.

"Have you remembered anything else?" Gilbert asked.

Ivan smiled. "I have." He said matter-of-factly.

"Oh?" Gilbert walked to the nightstand and picked up his glasses, not feeling like putting his contacts in.

Ivan nodded. "My last name is Braginski, and I'm from Russia." He stated proudly.

"I could have told you that, you have an accent." He chuckled.

Ivan blushed a little. "So... how do you feel?"

"Sore, but I'm okay." Gilbert stretched a little. "I'm going to make us breakfast, so just come out once you get dressed." Gilbert waved his hand and then left the room.

Ivan smiled a little and then got up. He felt a little sore himself; it had been so long since he exerted himself so much. He gathered a new outfit from the bags of clothing that Gilbert had put in here before. As he pulled his new pants up over his boxers, he suddenly remembered something he hadn't before.

_'My sisters.'_ He thought. _'I have sisters.'_ He bit his lip. _'And... and they... live in Germany?'_ his memories were coming back. _'I... came here to visit my sisters for a few days.'_ He felt excited for a moment now that his memories were back, it was something he should be happy about, right? But then... he realized something. _'Gilbert...'_ he'd have to leave Gilbert soon so his sisters wouldn't worry. After pulling on his sweater, he sat on the bed, thinking.

.

Gilbert had been preparing waffles for Ivan and himself. He was beginning to work up the courage to ask Ivan to stay with him even after his memories return, but a thought hit him. _'Wait... if he's from Russia, then... he must live there... is he just visiting someone?'_ An even worse thought entered his mind. _'A lover...? No... that's, not possible...'_ He focused on his cooking.

Ivan stood outside the kitchen, peeking in and watching the albino cook. He spent more than a moment watching his hands, how they gripped at the utensils, how his body moved. It reminded him of last night, how Gilbert gripped so tightly onto him, moaned for him, begged him, came for him. Ivan blushed out of instinct, but he felt sick to his stomach. He loved how happy and satisfied Gilbert looked afterward, but now he was about to do something that he knew was going to hurt both of them.

He stepped into the kitchen, his bare foot making a soft slapping sound against the tile. It caught Gilbert's attention.

The albino turned to face him; he pushed his glasses up the length of his nose. He noticed something strange. He wondered if Ivan felt the same regret that he did. "Sit at the table, waffles are almost done."

Ivan sat down in the same chair as yesterday, not saying a single word. He looked extremely nervous. He felt terrible. How would Gilbert react to hearing that he remembered everything?

"Do you want some milk?" Gilbert asked, opening the refrigerator door to get the jug since he wanted some anyway.

"Sure." Ivan answered with little interest. _'How am I going to tell him...?'_ he watched Gilbert set two clear glasses on the counter and pour the milk. _'Maybe... I don't tell him?'_ he narrowed his eyes on the man. _'No, I can't do that to my sisters, they're probably already worried about me as it is...'_

"Here." Gilbert gave a little smile as he placed a plate of waffles and a glass of milk in front of Ivan. He wished the smile was real.

"Thank you." The Russian thanked him, but he felt bad about it. He knew that any joy he brought to Gilbert would shatter like glass as soon as he told him.

The look on Ivan's face was starting to bug Gilbert. Even if he was bothered by last night, he still cared for Ivan. "What's wrong? You look sick."

Ivan's expression didn't change at all. "I feel sick."

"Do you want to lay down? You don't have to eat." The albino sounded genuinely concerned now.

Ivan looked up at Gilbert sadly; he held his breath, biting the inside of his lip. He had to tell him, he had to do it and just get it over with. "I... remembered everything..." Gilbert's eyes widened a centimeter. "why I came to Germany..." the words left a bad taste on Ivan's tongue.

Gilbert's concerned look disappeared and he took a step back, almost fumbling. He felt his heart beating slow in his chest. He knew this moment would come sooner or later; Ivan only had temporary amnesia so of course his memories came back slowly. Part of him wished that it took longer, maybe then they could get to know each other better, even after last night. He wanted to know everything about Ivan, but, it was just a one night stand. As such, it should be forgotten.

"I came to Germany to visit my two sisters for a few days. They're probably worried about me since I didn't show up the other night..." Ivan looked down at his plate; he couldn't stand the destroyed expression on Gilbert's face. He looked so upset about it. He probably felt used, taken advantage of, dirty. Ivan wished they had a little more self-control, but Gilbert begged him and he wanted Gilbert too.

"You should probably go see them then." Ivan glanced back to Gilbert when he spoke. He was shocked to see that the albino was smiling, and his voice sounded light too. Was he... glad? Not at all. Gilbert felt himself breaking inside. The first person in a long time who cared about him had to leave him. He wouldn't come back because he's only visiting for a few days, and then he'd go back to Russia. It wasn't like Gilbert could ask him to stay; he'd have to move to Germany. That was too much to ask.

Part of him couldn't believe that he let himself get so involved with someone who he's known for such a short time. He really felt like he could trust Ivan, and he did, he trusted him with his body, and he started to feel like that was a big mistake. He began to regret what they did, from the very beginning, the moment he told Ivan to kiss him again when he was on the couch. He should have told him not to, that it was wrong, but it felt so right, and now Gilbert was facing the consequences.

"Right, I..." Ivan started, but didn't know how to continue.

"Eat. You haven't eaten in a while; I don't want you fainting outside again." Gilbert sat down as well and began eating. He kept his eyes away from Ivan, trying hard to cover how upset he was, though he was sure that Ivan could feel the tension in the air.

Ivan quietly thanked him for the food and started to eat as well.

.

Gilbert finished quickly and once he was done, he left his plate on the table. There was still half a waffle and a quarter of his milk left, but he felt sick and didn't want to eat. He left the kitchen and left Ivan alone, not saying a single word to him. It hurt Ivan that Gilbert was so upset with him. He told himself that he should have refused more when Gilbert became so desperate. Maybe he should have just pleasured him instead of doing something as intimate as sex, especially since it was Gilbert's first time. Ivan had a feeling that he wouldn't ever be able to forgive himself for this.

The albino was back in his room, where he felt a heavily unsettling feeling when he looked at the bed of messy blankets. He shook his head a little and forced himself to move. He got an empty suitcase from the closet and began to pack all of Ivan's clothing in it. Since Ivan lost his stuff in the blizzard, Gilbert figured that he'd let Ivan take the suitcase that he never uses. He never went anywhere anyway. Gilbert carried it back to the kitchen, where Ivan sat in the chair still, looking like he had nearly all his life drained from him.

"Here, I packed all your clothes for you; because you don't have anything good to carry them in..." he mumbled and set the suitcase on the floor.

Ivan looked at him with dread. Even now, Gilbert was still helping him. Ivan didn't deserve any of this. He didn't deserve the suitcase or the waffles and milk, he didn't deserve to sleep in Gilbert's bed, to have sex with him, to pleasure and be pleasured by him, to make out in the snow with him, to build the snowman, the clothes he bought. Nothing. He deserved none of him, not one ounce of his comfort, warmth, or passion.

In the end, all Ivan could muster to say was a weak, "Thank you."

A heavy silence came over them; both felt like crying yet were too stupid to say anything. Gilbert thought Ivan couldn't stay, and probably wouldn't really want to, and Ivan thought he was a horrible person who took Gilbert's innocence. He didn't think Gilbert would want him around anymore after this. He could tell that the albino was hurt about it, and to avoid any sort of confrontation, neither spoke for a long time.

Ivan finally broke that silence though.

"Thank you, for everything. For the food, and for comforting me when I was scared. Thank you so much, I mean it. Gilbert, I owe you so much."

_'Then stay...'_ Gilbert couldn't bring himself to speak these words and only felt like crying. He felt the tightening in his throat and his eyes tingling with a strong need to cry.

Ivan stood up, went to Gilbert, and placed his hand on the albino's shoulder. "I wish you wouldn't look so sad..." he told him. The look of depression made Ivan's heart ache.

Gilbert looked at him. "You should hurry and leave." He paused. "Your sisters are probably really worried about you." He gave an obviously forced smile.

Ivan could have sworn that his heart shattered into a million tiny little pieces when he saw that smile. Gilbert was trying so hard to appear all right, but in reality, he was breaking down just like Ivan, if not moreso.

In one last moment of desire, Ivan leaned in and gave a little kiss to Gilbert's lips. Gilbert did not return the kiss. He didn't move, didn't blink, and didn't blush. He just let Ivan kiss him, and that was it. That was the last he saw of Ivan before the Russian picked up his suitcase and walked out of the kitchen. Gilbert leaned against the wall, able to hear Ivan dressing in his coat and boots. The sounds made him cry. The tears that he had been holding back finally filled his eyes and heavy drops of salty tears rolled down his cheeks. He wheezed softly but covered his mouth. He didn't want to let Ivan know that he was crying, he couldn't handle seeing Ivan come back, which he knew Ivan would do if he heard him crying. That would only make it harder, and he had to make his peace with the fact that he was gone.

When he heard the front door open and then shut a few seconds later, Gilbert slid down the wall to the floor and cried loudly. He pulled his legs to his chest and let all of his tears out.

.

The air outside seemed colder than usual, and it didn't help that Ivan had small tears freezing on his cheeks. He didn't start crying until he passed the snowman that he and Gilbert had made. He saw the indent in the snow where he made out with Gilbert as well, and that made him yearn for the albino's sweet kiss again. Ivan knew that this was temporary, just until he got his memory back. He knew that, _Gilbert_ knew that. Gilbert understood it more than him, yet he still continued to feed both of their desires until it reached a climax, and then it fell.

As Ivan crunched the snow under his feet, making his way back to the city, he found himself beginning to regret last night more and more. It was a stupid one night stand that happened because they were both lonely and sexually deprived. He didn't know Gilbert that well at all, but somehow the night couldn't have been more perfect. Ivan didn't just have sex with Gilbert. He made love to him like he had been his lover forever, but he also fucked him like all he wanted was to feel something tight around his cock. He couldn't have asked for more pleasure, for an even cuter person for it to happen with, or more comfort and safety.

For a moment, Ivan thought about turning back and asking if he could come back, but he assumed that Gilbert felt like Ivan had taken advantage of him. Ivan didn't blame him. In the end, he figured that Gilbert wouldn't want him to come back after what they did. He'd want to forget it and move on with his life, and Ivan had to do the same.

He looked up at the sky, watching soft white clouds float across a pale blue. _'It's better if he never sees me again...'_

* * *

**_~Fin~_**

* * *

Thanks for reading, friend.  
If you liked this, please leave a favorite and/or a review. Thank you.


End file.
